Bachelor King 4: Never Match Up a Canary with a Cat
by creativeKing95
Summary: Feeling sorry for Darla because she has no boyfriend, the girls and Spiny set her up with Roger, another good friend of Spiny from a nearby city. But things don't come out as expected.
1. Chapter 1

What do I think of matchmaking? Personally, I'm against it 100%. I mean, I just don't think that regular people, or my case, intelligent non-human beings have the right to set up anyone with anyone else. No matter how desperate one or both are. I mean, I don't believe in fate or luck, but I do think that the only person that can actually set up two people is God.

It's just that sometimes people ignore it when He does or ruin everything with their silly little imperfections.

I happen to know that Dimetroodon and Larry are also against that. Well, Dimetroodon's never had much success when it comes to social relationships with girls. And Larry doesn't believe in romantic love. He does believe in friendship love, brotherly love, family love, godly love, but that's it. He's never had a crush on anyone.

Same thing with Rudy. Up until now, he's refuses to notice girls. And Tyrone…well, let's just say you won't see the school bully of your school dating anytime soon. I don't know what Lilia's opinion of it is. Since we've become just friends, I pretty much try to avoid the entire subject of love. Let me tell you, trying to be just friends with the Love of your Life is as hard as trying to throw yourself from a ceiling fan and land on your feet.

As for Kylie…well, like I said, she's a little rebellious. She believes in fate, destiny, and is, of course, obsessed with matchmaking. And with me. That's not really comforting. I mean, I appreciate that she thinks I'm so desirable, but…moving on.

Anyways, the trouble I've got is that Kathy and Patty are definitely all the go for matchmaking. Just let them meet a guy and a girl separately; they think they'll be perfect for each other, and wham! They'll set up dates, dinners, etc.

But you see that's my problem. I mean, I'm really thankful that I have a great sister like Kathy and a cousin like Patty, but when they start trying match up people…you better look out! The results will always be unpredictable, and often embarrassing and not-so-pretty. But they never give, up. No sir.

And…well, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let's start at the beginning. That's usually the best place to start.

The date was December 28. Of 2014. Don't remember which day of the week it was. Oh, yeah. It was Sunday. As I recall, it was mid-afternoon. I was at Arnold's. Eating with Kathy, Patty, Richard, Kenneth, Darla, and Lilia.

I think I was telling jokes or something. Yeah, I was. I was saying, "So, the guy walks into the bar and drops his head on the counter. And he tells the bartender, 'Give me a Scotch-n'-Soda.' And the bartender says, 'I can't serve you. You're so drunk; you can't lift your head.' And the drunk says, 'All right, then, give me a haircut.'"

We all burst out laughing. Then Lilia said, "Wow, Spiny, I never knew you were so funny!" I didn't blush only because we were in a group. I tried my best to say, "Thanks," in a friendly, non-romantic way. It was hard.

Then Darla said, "Oh, leave it up to Spiny. He's a great comedian. If he wasn't King, I think he'd be the head writer of a comedy show."

"Yeah, it'd mean that he could personally meet lots of celebrities," said Kathy.

"Um, sis, we already get to do that. Every so often, we have a Special Royal House Guest." That's something that's done occasionally. It's not really regular. Just when the opportunity presents itself. Last time it was back in July. I think it was Neymar, the Brazil soccer player. Because of the World Cup.

Back to the point. Anyways, I said, "And well, that's what happened. So, guys, what you going to do about the EOSs?"

Kenneth looked at me strange. "EOSs? What are those?"

"EOSs. You know, End of Semester. You know the exams to pass to the next semester."

"Oh, that! Well, I…"

"Oh, Spiny," Kathy said. "It's early to be thinking about that, don't you think?"

I stared him at her in disbelief. "Kathy, the exams are starting tomorrow."

She blinked, swiveled her eyes from side to side, and I could see pink starting to flush on her cheeks. "That's why I say that we should start studying."

We? Start? Well for her information, I was not about to start studying. I was finishing. I'd been studying for the past month and a half. But that's Kathy. She'll put off any kind of studying to make time for dates, parties, sleepovers, etc.

Come to think of it, just about all my friends are like that. Larry, Rudy, Darla, Kathy, Dimetroodon, Robert, and obviously, Kylie. She doesn't even study. She doesn't even cram for the night before.

Lilia studies. And she studies hard. And Patty does too. Anyway, that's not what we were talking about. What the heck were we talking about? Was it about sleepovers? Oh, yes. I personally like them. But not when the girls have slumber parties. Having five or six or seven girls in pajamas giggling and looking at me and dying to hear me sing while I'm reading or to simply look at my blue eyes is not my idea of fun. Furthermore…furthermore that's not what I was talking about.

And I just managed to once again embarrass myself. I tend to do that. Quite often and at the wrong place at the wrong time with the wrong people.

Anyways…well, we finished eating and started leaving to go home. We all said goodbye, and Patty, Kathy, and I got on our bikes and headed home. Boy was I exhausted. After a long week of schoolwork, and ruling a whole country almost singlehandedly, I was ready to rest and relax.

Robert was playing video games, though that wasn't new. Greeny was with the neighbor's kids playing. That wasn't new either. What was new was that I hadn't gotten any complaints from anyone.

Now, I've tried to raise my whole family the best way possible. But let's just say that having to be head of family at the age of 14 isn't what you might call an ideal situation.

Anyways, the minute we got to the Palace, I immediately went upstairs, put my coat away, took off my shoes, and plopped down on the bed. Phew!

I stayed there listening to music while I waited for dinner.

We were having meatloaf and mashed potatoes. I would've preferred to start with dessert. I'm not a big fan of meatloaf. But, of course, I'm not one to complain about foods. I mean, Kathy and Patty sure tire themselves out to help maintain the household.

Anyways, I went down to eat. I noticed that Robert's hair was a little…well, a lot messed up. And he had all his clothes wrinkled. It looked like he'd been in a scuffle. Obviously, I'm not one to jump to conclusions, but I decided to ask anyway.

"Hey, Rob. You feeling okay?"

He briefly looked at me. "Yeah, I'm fine. Why shouldn't I be?" He seemed a little, I don't know, uneasy.

"Well, I don't know," I answered. "I mean, your hair's a little wild and your clothes are wrinkled. Looks like you were in a scuffle."

He ate some meatloaf. "I wasn't in a scuffle."

A tense silence followed. O-kay. "Come on, Rob. Tell me, what happened?"

"Why do I have to tell you?!" And just like that, he stood up, walked out, grabbing his baseball and mitten on the way, and slammed the door.

Whoa! I looked at Kathy and Patty. "Could you please inform me what happened or do I have to wait when he tells my children in 9,600 years?"

Kathy cleared his throat. "Well, uh, I can't really tell. You see he made me promise me that I wouldn't tell. I gotta keep it."

I stared at her. "You mean it's possible for girls to keep secrets?!" She crossed her arms and looked at me sternly. "Spiny!"

I blinked. "Forget it. But, anyways, there can't be any secrets in this family. Especially not this family. If he's gotten into trouble with some gang or something, it's my responsibility to help him."

She sighed. Then she looked at Greeny and Patty. Then at me. "Can we go in the kitchen?"

Uh-oh. Anytime someone wants to see me in the kitchen, it means trouble. Well, once inside, she told me.

Turns out that Robert had been playing baseball by himself in the park. Then, out of nowhere about four or five girls appeared and tackled him. According to Kathy, he was just buried. I mean, they even tried to tear his clothes off. Well, he does need a new shirt.

Anyways, that's what happened and he was too embarrassed to tell me. "Well, what can I say?" I said. "Beauty in excess just seems to run in this family. I can't explain it."

Kathy snickered. "You know, it really burns me up every time I think about that."

"Why?"

"Because I just can't accept the fact that we really do have amazing good looks." Well, like I've said, humility doesn't always let you express yourself. I'm going to say something, but don't think I'm bragging or anything. Beauty runs deeply in our family.


	2. Chapter 2

Well, the next day at school, I was in between classes during a break. I walked up to my locker and was getting some books and a small snack to eat on the way to class. I closed my locker and whoa! Almost ran right into three girls.

They had huge smiles and were just staring at me. I smiled back. "Uh, can I help you girls?"

The girl on the left sighed and said in a dreamy voice. "Can we get your autograph?"

"HUH?"

Then the girl on the left said, "Oh, yes please, please please! You're so cute and sweet and handsome that I just need your signature."

Then the girl in the middle said, "We'll just die if you don't sign our journals."

I laughed. "All right. I'll do it." All three of them jumped and squealed. Well, I signed their journals. Afterwards the girl on the right said, "Oh, I'll never use this pen again." Then they all left, smiling and looking at me, and bumping into things. Well, after that I was about to leave when guess who came along?

Ms. Unbearable. Ms. Wanna-be-Miss-Universe. Ms. Popularity. Ms. Superficial-and-extremely-Narrow-Minded. No, not Larry's distant female cousin. He doesn't have any family. But if you guessed Kylie you're right. Accompanied by one of the cheerleaders. I think it was Jenny. Medium height, blonde hair, and of course the matching red-and-white cheerleader outfit.

Anyways, Kylie and Jenny came and they both said, "Hey, cue."

I looked at him puzzled. "Hey, cue?"

Then, they said the punch line. "Hey, cutie!" They blew kisses at me.

I smiled nervously and looked around to see if anyone was watching. Fortunately for me, the hallway was empty. HUH?! Empty? Help! I was alone with a girl who was crazy for me but not me for her!

Just act cool. Cool and easy. Be friendly and courteous but not too much. "Hey, girls. How are you?" I asked.

"Well, I just came thinking about you, my dear marshmallow." Oh no. Here she was starting again. I thought that after I'd poured fruit punch on her at the welcoming party she'd hate me. But I guess there's no stopping some people. Like Napoleon Bonaparte.

"Um, Kylie, could you hurry it up, please? I need to be in my next class soon."

"Oh sure! Sure! This won't take a minute. You know about the Winter Formal Dance in two weeks?"

"Yeah?"

"Well, I have personally arranged for you to go with the most gorgeous, witty, clever, and likeable girl in town."

My eyes popped open at that. "No kidding?! You set me up with Lilia?"

Whoa, did her face change. She laughed and said, "Oh, Spiny you've got great humor! I was talking about me."

Okay, now's the time. Let's get outta here. "I gotta go. See ya!" Then, like a person running out of a burning house, I ran away and to my class. I mean, a guy gotta be sharp with this kind of girls. The next class was science and is always held in the lab. We were discussing cellular respiration and the teacher was talking about our science reports. The ones we'd done back in October.

Darla and Dimetroodon had made a radio antenna receiver with headphones. Basically, you pointed the antenna in any direction and with the headphones you could hear people's conversation. Of course they got an A+. I'd actually told Larry to make some for our spy missions.

Larry and Tyrone, yes Tyrone, had made a Bluetooth speaker. The got an A+, too. Kylie and Rachel, her red-headed cheerleader friend had tried to steal my project and mess it up so I'd fail, but they're plan backfired and they ended up failing. You know what they brought? They bought a ridiculous-looking shopping bag.

Lilia and I made a model of the Yellowstone supervolcano. Complete with ash clouds and lightning and special effects. We also got an A+. Anyways, the teacher just congratulated us for our hard work and said that they would account for a big part of our final grades.

On the way out, I was picking up my things, when Lilia came up to me. Wow, she always looked beautiful. Radiant. Iridescent. Dazzling. Her deep brown eyes, her soft face, and the way her hair moved with every step. It always took my breath away. Anyways, she came up to me and said, "Well, I guess it's safe to say we'll pass science this year."

I chuckled. "Yeah. Well, that's my subject and I've always been good at it."

She smiled. "Yeah, you won the science fair a few years ago. Remember? And I won 2nd place."

"Oh, yeah. I remember."

There was an awkward silence. Have I mentioned how I hate awkward silences? I knew what I wanted to say, but I didn't know if I could. "Um, listen. Uh, I was wondering, if it's all right with you, if you'd like to go to the Winter Formal with me?"

She suddenly looked a little uneasy. "Oh, Spiny. I told you back at the welcoming party that I thought we'd better stay as friends."

I felt as if someone had just kicked me right in the chest. I felt my throat run dry and my knees shook. "Oh, yeah. Well, couldn't we go as friends?" I mean, I couldn't stand the thought of Lilia going with some other guy. With any guy. I was decided to win her heart, and I would try even if it killed me.

She fidgeted. "Well, I guess it would be all right." Then she looked at me straight in the eye. "All right. We'll go as friends. I accept. We can talk about it in the evening over the phone."

I smiled. "Oh, sure thing."

Then she picked up her things and started to leave. Then at the door she stopped and looked at me. "Oh, and Spiny. When I said we're just friends, I mean that for now we're just friends. Okay? Just for now. Who knows what might happen later. Bye." She waved at me then left.

I felt a warm, soothing sensation in my chest. Her words ringed in my ears to the ever rising rate of my heartbeat. I blinked my eyes and stepped out of my trance.

At the end of the day, Kathy said to me, "Is it all right if Darla comes over to have dinner with us?" I said sure. Any of our friends are always welcome.

Later that evening, while I was getting dressed, I was thinking about whom Darla would go to the Formal. I mean, dating tomboys isn't too common. I happened to know that no guy ever asked her out. Well, once in a while she brought a cousin. But that doesn't count.

I was wondering about that when I walked out of my room and headed for the dining room. The girls were setting up the table. I went to the kitchen and put out the silverware and the cups. I had no idea why Kathy had insisted on inviting Darla over. But I suspected that…oh well. No use speculating, right?

I was still helping set up the table when I said in a casual voice, "So, uh, why'd you decide to invite Darla for dinner."

She shrugged while setting down the salad bowl. "No reason. Just in friendship."

"Oh, I see. Just sort of one those ideas you get in a minute?"

"That's right."

Just then Patty walked in. "Oh, Rob and Greeny are having a sleepover. They practically begged me to let them go. They said three girls in one house is too much for them."

I laughed. "Yeah, that's what I said when I was their age. Now, I can't get enough girls."

Kathy looked at me slyly. "Spiny, Spiny, Spiny. You know very well that girls around here are the ones who can't get enough of you. You're an international heartthrob. Believe me, it's your blue eyes."

"Oh, please don't remind me. I get reminded enough times at school by Kylie and her feather-brained cheerleader associates."

"Spiny, not all cheerleaders are bad," said Patty.

"Oh, of course not. Out of probably 50 or so cheerleaders or so that I've met personally, only two sincerely believed that appearances don't matter. The rest? Bam! Excessively superficial. And I mean deeply superficial."

Kathy laughed. "You don't like cheerleaders at all, do you?"

I shook my head.

She went back to setting the table. "Well, you know what they say: To each his own. Or her own."

That was true. At that moment the bell rang. I went to get it. Imagine my surprise when I saw it wasn't Darla.


	3. Chapter 3

Like I said, it wasn't Darla. And in case you love romance, no it wasn't Lilia. If you like comedy it wasn't Larry. That fool was trying to set the world record of the longest time hanging upside down from a wall. And in my room, mind you.

And it wasn't Dimetroodon, Tyrone, Rudy, or Kylie. (Fortunately.) It was another very good friend of mine. Roger Loski. He's from Waterfall City. He's 5 feet and six inches tall. Weighs about 135 pounds. Not really skinny. More like slender. I'm not really skinny either. I'm just lean. Anyways, he's got light brown hair, green eyes, and is fourteen years old.

But get this. He is so advanced academically, that he is in his sophomore year. That's right. He's in the 10th grade. And he is also a great athlete. He does track, football, baseball, soccer, volleyball, basketball, and even Frisbee. And swimming. Anyways, I was really surprised to see him.

"Roger!"

He smiled. "Hey, Spiny! How you doing, my man?"

I shook his hand and hugged him. "Oh, great. Just great. How are you doing?"

"Well, I was in the middle of doing a Chemistry report, then I thought, 'I haven't seen my friend the King in a long time. I owe him a visit.' And well, here I am."

"Well, we sure appreciate you coming. Come on in."

"Thanks."

After he'd come in and I closed the door, I said, "How's the family?"

"Oh, doing fine. How about you guys?"

I shrugged. "Can't complain."

At that moment, Patty walked in. "Spiny, just tell Darla to come right in…oh, hello Roger." She saw it wasn't Darla and smiled at Roger. He smiled back at her. "Hey, Patty! Looking good, eh."

She looked down and blushed. "Oh, thanks. You look like you've been doing good yourself."

He nodded. "Yeah, I was telling Spiny I felt I owe you guys a visit. So, here I am."

The three of us laughed.

If you haven't noticed, Patty has this slight attraction towards Roger. Believe me, after playing the part of father and mother for several hundred years I can easily tell when one of my family members is like that.

Anyways, Kathy came in, wiping her hands on a dish towel. "Spiny, why aren't talking Darla back here to the dining room?" Then she sees him and her face changes completely.

I point to him. "For one good and reasonable explanation: This isn't Darla."

She laughs nervously. "Oh, hi Roger. I didn't expect…I mean, we didn't expect…"

"Oh, it's my fault," he said. "I wanted to see you guys 'cause I felt like I owed you guys a visit. But, apparently, it looks like you were expecting someone else. Did I come at a bad time?"

Patty started to speak. "We'd invited a friend of ours to have dinner with us. Darla Baker. She goes to school with us. She's in many of our classes. She's really nice and funny."

"Oh, well. I guess I'll come later…"

Kathy rushed up to him. "Oh, nonsense! You can stay too. I'll just set an extra plate and cup."

"Don't forget an extra napkin and a set of silverware. And a chair, too," I said.

"Oh, Spiny. Mr. Comedian," she said. Well, I'm not too bad in the comedy department, if I do say so myself.

Roger nodded. "Well, alright. If you insist. I'll stay. Hope I can eat what you made."

Kathy laughed. "You will. Come on in." The girls left for the kitchen, while Roger and I walked behind them. He whispered, "What's on the menu?"

"Oven roasted chicken strips topped with Alfredo sauce, salad, spaghetti and meatballs, and chocolate mousse."

"Mmmm!" he said, smacking his lips. "I read in the Amarkian Chronicle that that's your favorite dish? Is it true?"

I laughed and nodded. "Yes, for once, you heard a true gossip. And keep in mind that I'm fairly open to the media and the press about my private life. I don't refuse every interview that comes along. Just the ones that are made by controversial reporters or magazines."

"Controversial? So, only like what? Seven out of every ten magazines."

"Exactly."

Finally we arrive at the dining room. The table is all set. Like always, I sit at the head of the table. Kathy sits to my right and Patty to my left. Roger sits next to Patty, in front of Darla's place. Her plate is still sitting there. And her cup is already filled with water.

About ten minutes later, we were discussing what our choices would be for next year's summer reading program at the library when the doorbell rang. Okay, that had to be Darla. If it wasn't, I was going to shoot myself. With a water gun.

Anyways I went to answer it. Fortunately, I didn't have to shoot water at myself. It was Darla. She was wearing jeans, a brown shirt with a leather jacket and a black Sherlock Homes-style hat. Now if that's not tomboy, I don't know what is.

"Well, aren't you punctual?" I said teasingly.

She crossed her arms and glared at me. "For your information, my sister got in stuck in traffic driving me over here." Oh yeah, one thing: Darla doesn't live with her parents. She lives with her older sister in the suburbs on the eastern side of Sauropolis. I don't really know why.

Anyways, I laughed at what she'd said. "I'm just kidding. Come on in." I showed her in and closed the door behind her. Kinda weird closing a door behind a girl who doesn't look like one.

Well, I walked her to the dining room, where the girls and Roger were eating, talking, and laughing about…how should I know? I don't have X-ray ears. But I do have X-ray vision. No, really, I do.

"Ahem." Everyone turned to look at me and then stood up. "Oh, hi Darla," said Kathy.

"Hello, Darla," said Patty.

I brought Roger over to Darla. "Roger, this is Darla Baker. Darla, this is Roger Loski. A friend from Waterfall City."

They both shook hands and smiled at each other. "Nice to meet you, Roger," said Darla.

"Likewise," said Roger. I noticed that the area of skin behind his ears was getting pink. His smile was friendly, but it was also…I don't know. Nervous or something. Hmmm. Could it be…nah, it couldn't be.

I quickly dismissed those ridiculous thoughts out of my mind and sat at my seat and continued with my dinner. We had a nice chat over dinner. We talked about lots of things. You know; jokes, funny stories, school life, our friends, our families, etc.

Then, out of nowhere, Kathy pops the Awkward Question of The Night. She says to Darla, "Are you going with someone to the Winter Formal?"

I stare at Kathy without her noticing. I mean, my jaw dropped the full way as if someone had kicked all the air inside me. KATHY?! I thought. You're asking a tomboy if she has a date. A date?! I mean, who ever saw a tomboy dating. That's like a boy pretending to be a coward and a sissy on purpose. And nobody's heard of that, either.

Darla shrugged and kept on eating as if Kathy had asked if she liked scrambled eggs with toast. "No, not really, I mean I don't really like parties. And I especially do not like dances. Or formal dances. There's no real point to them."

I nodded to myself quietly. "Plus," she said, "when have you seen a tomboy dating? I don't even use perfume or comb my hair into styles."

Wow. She was that, well, unfeminine. I mean, even I used cologne and I always comb my hair. I'll let you on a secret. I have seven different combs; one for each day. One day's black comb, another day's blue, then black, then blue and so on. Just thought I'd mention that.

But I don't exaggerate. I mean, there are guys at school who are, you know, good-looking and all but vain. You know that there's a guy in my Grammar class who numbers every single hair on his head? That's right. You never see me doing that.

Anyways, Darla said she wasn't planning on going with anyone. You'd think a sensible girl like Kathy would leave the subject right there. But Kathy isn't really sensible. She keeps on and on and just carries on and on and doesn't know when to stop.

But I could see this wasn't a good time to stop her. So, I just let her go on. "Well, uh, if you find a guy who was cute, smart, nice, and funny, would you go?"

Darla scoffed at that. "Would a like to find a guy like that? Do rabbits like carrots?"

We all laughed at that. Well, by "we" I mean Kathy, Patty and me. Roger just sort of you know chuckled. Like when you laugh with the crowd but you got no idea why there's laughter and you're too embarrassed to ask what was funny.

I noticed he'd been a little uneasy. I mean, usually he's a great talker and a super-conversationalist. But know, he was quiet and just eating. Huh. Could it because…no, it couldn't. I knew him a little bit too well.

Anyhow, Darla continued, "Now, I know that I'm not exactly your typical girl. I mean, I don't paint my nails, or wear perfume, or dress up or even wear girly shoes, but believe me: underneath my rough exterior lies a soft, sentimental girl just like you and Patty."

I didn't really buy that. I mean, Darla is tough. Real tough. She's beaten up whole gangs of thugs and bullies single-handedly.

"In other words," Patty said, "you would go if such a guy asked you."

She nodded hesitantly. "I guess I would."

Both girls nodded and went back to eating. Finally! I mean, sure, I might seem romantic myself at times, but there is such thing as crossing the line. This kind of talk might be fine for when the girls get together to eat out, but not at a dinner table with two fourteen-year-old guys present.

And I don't even want to mention of what kind of conversations go on when the girls have sleepovers or slumber parties. Their room is right next to mine and everything they say, even the whispers, comes in clear as crystal.

Advantages of modern walls. And air conditioning systems.

Returning to the scene, I decided that it was time for me to make some more manly talk with Roger. "So, Roger, how's things working out for you in the team?"

Roger's captain of his school's basketball team. "Oh, doing fine. We're really being pushed by the coach to do more. He's determined that our school wins this year's high school tournament."

Darla looked at him in shock. "High school? How old are you?"

"I'm 14. But I skipped a few years and now I'm in 10th grade."

"Oh, I see," Darla replied. Then she went back eating.

The evening ended quicker than I thought. Before we knew it, it was late and both Darla and Roger left. At separate times, mind you, in case you we're getting ideas. Anyways, after they left, the girls and I started cleaning up. After we were done, I was readying myself up to go change, when the girls asked me to talk about something.

I suddenly got a feeling of dread. Something told me that they weren't going to talk about One Direction's next tour. (Remember how I said that "Oh, boy" means there's trouble coming?") Here goes.

Ohhhhhhhhhh boy…


	4. Chapter 4

"So, what is it you want to talk to me about?" I said to Kathy and Patty.

"Well," said Kathy. "We've both been talking and we want to do something, but want to see your reaction."

They want to see my reaction? What the heck are they up to now? "Well, go ahead. Tell me."

"How would you feel if tried another hand at matchmaking?"

Excuese me? What. Did. She. Just. Say. She knows I detest matchmaking. I tried to keep a cool face. Cool as a cucumber. "What if I said no?" I said, crossing my arms.

Kathy said, "We'll still probably do it behind your back?"  
THEN WHY ARE YOU ASKING ME?! I thought. But all I said was, "Yeah, that's what I thought." No point arguing. When these two girls make up their minds, NOTHING changes them.

I shrugged. "Well, all right. Go ahead. Who are your new two victims?"

Patty scoffed. "Oh, stop it, Spiny. It's not like we're preying on people."

"That's what matchmaking is. Preying. Prying. Prying into people's personal lives and affairs."

"Oh come on, Spiny!" Kathy protested. "There's nothing wrong with at least trying to put two potential soul mates together."

I shook my head. "All right. Who'd you have in mind?"

"Darla and Roger."

"WHAT?!"

"Darla and Roger."

I stammered. Mostly from the shock. Like if someone had told me that a nuke had exploded in Washington D.C. "Wha…you…wh…I…huh?! Have you lost your mind completely?"

"What's wrong with that?"

What's wrong with that?! Doesn't she see it? And they say girls are better in these matters. "What I mean is, you NEVER ever throw in a cat in the same cage with a canary. That's what I mean."

"Aww," Patty said. "Not even lonely cat and lonely canary?"

I shook my head, taking the last sip of my coffee from my mug, which was still on the table. "Not even tiny canary and a GIANT cat."

"Now, what's that supposed to mean?" Kathy said.

"I'll explain it to you. Here we have Darla: she's social, talkative, has a strong character, is tough, not feminine at all, and makes jokes in four out of every six sentences she says. Then, we have Roger: shy and retiring, awkward and quiet with new girls, and very sensitive. He and Darla are complete opposites."

Patty turned around to put the dishes away in the kitchen. "They do say opposites attract, you know?"

I laughed at that. "Well, yeah, but not that opposite. Like I said, you're trying to put in the canary in with the cat."

Kathy sighed. I could tell she was getting irritated. "Oh, would you stop it? That's the third time you've said that phrase!"  
I sighed. Now, I was getting irritated. It was time to talk this out. It was time for one of those talks. You know, where the head of the family tries to talk sense into the other family members? I told the girls to sit down at the dinner table.

"All right, look," I started. "I'll let you on in a secret. But, PLEASE control your feminine curiosity and don't tell any living thing. Not even the maple tree out in front. Darla made me swear on my Solemn Royal Oath that I wouldn't go blabbing this. Darla has had many boyfriends. But she scares them off. She's too quick with answers. We guys don't like girls who make jokes about everything."

They both looked at me in shock. "I didn't know she'd had boyfriends before. Why hasn't she told us?" Kathy said.

"She's afraid it will ruin her tomboy image."

Patty shook her head. "But, when Lilia makes jokes, you don't seem to mind."  
Oh, no. Not this again. "Look, in the first place and unfortunately for me, we're just friends. For now. Secondly, I would mind if she made jokes every time she opened her mouth. And let's face it, once in a while she tells a corny joke. I only laugh to not hurt her feelings."

Kathy looked down. I guess she was thinking. The, she had an eager look on her face. "Hey, Spiny. You know what I was thinking?"

I looked at her sternly. "Yeah, and I'm 100% against it!"  
"Spiny, she didn't even say anything," Patty replied.

I smiled sarcastically, "I know that. But she's got that matchmaker's sparkle in her eye. And the answer is no. I do not think that setting up a date for the two of them is a good idea. It's a terrible idea." I stood up and started pacing. "Look, I've known and worked with Darla for hundreds of years and I've seen how she demolishes guys with her jokes. It'd only cause trouble."

By this time, Patty and Kathy had opened a box of Oreo cookies and were eating them. I picked one when Patty said, "Well, maybe you're right. A formal date might not be good. Hey! How about a small formal dinner party here! We invite some friends, have them bring dates. We can set Darla up with Roger. You know how adorable he looks in a suit. And Darla might even wear a dress and make-up."

HA! I could not believe the words that were coming out of her mouth. Was this my cousin? First of all, she was getting overemotional about Roger looking "adorable." Second, the chances of Darla Baker wearing a dress and make-up were about the same as me being best friends with the leader of North Korea. In other words, NEVER.

"Patty! You know, you really surprise me?"

She looked at me "innocently." "Why do you say that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Well, you're always saying how you hate brutality. And here you are, inviting violence. Right into your home. Into my home. My Palace. Our Palace."

Well, I guess that convinced them. I could tell, 'cause they had that sort of defeated look on their faces. "I guess you're right," said Kathy.

"Of course I'm right," I muttered, grabbing another cookie. Suddenly, they got quiet. And I mean real quiet. They just sat there, not looking at each other or me, grabbing more cookies and leftover cake.

Something told me I should keep talking. So I did. "Girls. People shouldn't try to play Cupid."

"No, they shouldn't," said Kathy.

"Suppose, and I mean suppose a lot. Suppose they did get together, and then they got married. And they ended up hating each other. They would never forgive us for butting in. They'd never speak to us again."

Patty nodded. "You're right."

I nodded. Of course I am. At least this time I thought. Then they got quiet again. And for some strange reason, I got an urge to talk again. "If they'd been meant for each other, it would have been taken care of without our help. If two people are soul mates, they don't need help from their friends. You can't really make someone love another. You can more or less build a precedent, but they don't always follow it.

"I mean, Mom and Dad didn't need a dinner party to get together. Right?"

Kathy smiled. "Right."

"And you didn't need a formal dinner to get with Richard. And if I'm ever to end up together with Lilia, I won't need a dinner party either. Love is complicated, but winning it doesn't have to be exaggerated."

Quiet again. And, yes, I talked again. I should've stayed quiet this time. Like they say in Spanish, "No hay quinto malo." I'd like to dispute that. "We have no business prying into personal matters like this. We should just stay out of it. Completely. Totally. Absolutely."  
Patty nodded. "You're absolutely right."

I nodded back. "Right."

Then, you know what she said? Instead of leaving the subject like I'd suggested or actually ordered, she said, "Should we make it a sit-down dinner, or a barbecue?"

OH, FOR GOODNESS' SAKE! I'd spent fifteen minutes giving them a good, long, convincing, reasonable explanation as to why not match make. And here they were. Not even listening. They were hearing, but not listening.

I was too shocked to even say anything. All I did was dropped my fork on the plate loudly and cover my face with my hand. Oh boy. Ay yay yay.

Well, before I knew what happened, the plan had been laid out. And as always I was at the center of the scheme. I like to call it a scheme instead of a plan. I'd woken up that morning as King of Amarkia. Now, I went to bed as Official Head Matchmaker.

How in the world did I get into this mess? I'll tell you why. I've got a big mouth. A big mouth!

When was I going to learn to shut up? When was I going to learn to keep my sister and my cousin under control? When was I going to learn…I don't know. I ran out of ideas. But the point is that things went exactly as I hoped that they hadn't.

Oftentimes when things like these happen, I say to myself out loud, "WHY ME?!"

Anyways, that night I was tumbling around in bed. (In dinosaur form here.) I just couldn't get to sleep. Larry was still hanging upside down from the ceiling. He'd been that way for the past 36 hours. How did manage to eat? I have no idea. How about when he needed to go to the…never mind. I don't want to think about that. NEXT!

Anyways, Larry was hanging upside-down. Sleeping. Yep. Like a bat. All he needed was wings. He was already hideous. Anyhow, I couldn't sleep and I needed to talk to someone. Instead of someone, all I had was Larry. Oh well. Gotta be happy with what we've got, right?

"Larry," I said, in a mildly quiet voice.

"Zzzz. Snurk murlge rogle." Snoring and mumbling.

"Larry."  
"Tin motorcycles in the sandbox. Peanut brittle highway. Ritzzle mitzzle."

"Larry." I raised my voice.

"Mumbo jumbo hocus pocus."

"Larry!"

"Whittle bread hurricane of jelly."

Oh, for crying out loud. "LARRY!"

His eyes popped opened. Even from my lying position, I could see that they were pointing in different directions. His left eye was pointing up and his right eye was spinning in circles. "Kathy, will you marry me?"

HUH?! WHAT DID HE JUST SAY?! Did. He. Just. Say. My. Sister's. Name. For a moment, I was too shocked. And I mean shocked! I was stunned. Traumatized is the better word for it. I was in a state of shock. How could I even conceive imagining Larry and Kathy. Ugh! Let's just forget it. I'm starting to get nauseous. If I keep thinking about it, I'll lose my supper.

Ignoring what he just said, I said, "Larry, wake up!"

"What? Huh? Who's the idiot that keeps calling me?" HUH?! Insulting me, huh? Well, I didn't have the energy or the time to beat him up into a hundred pieces.

He blinked his eyes. Then he looked at me. "Oh, it's you."

"Of course it's me. Who else could I be?"

"I don't know. A pushover."

"WHAT?"

"I mean, uh, eh, heh heh." Then, without warning, he slipped from the ceiling and crashed on the floor. I even think I heard his back going crack! Sounded nasty. He groaned as he managed to get himself to a standing position. He rubbed his back. "There, now. You see? You made lose the world record."

I rolled my eyes. "Would you forget that and listen to what I'm saying? I've got something important to tell you."  
He exhaled. "All right. I'm all ears."

"You maul ears?"

"I'm ALL ears."

"Oh. Well, here goes." Well, I told him the whole story. Starting from Roger's unexpected visit to the preposterous idea of pairing him up with Darla. "And I'm completely against it. But the girls outvoted me. And now I don't know how I should act."

"Well…why don't you take the battery out of Roger's parent's car. Then, put liquid methane in Darla's milk."

I rolled my eyes so far to the back of my head I almost got a glimpse of my brain. The air hissed out my lungs. I fought the urge of trying to murder him. He'd probably kill me instead. He's a dirty fighter. "Forget I mentioned it," I mumbled.

I turned around, with my back and sail to him, lying on my left side. I closed my eyes and tried to get some sleep.

I didn't sleep too well. I had three nightmares in all. First, one in which Lilia and I ended up being only friends forever and she married a pool supply salesman. Then, one where on Darla and Roger's 1st wedding anniversary, they sent us an "I hate you" card. And worst of all, one where Larry ended up being my…GULP!...my brother-in-law.


	5. Chapter 5

Next day at work, at the office, I was signing some legal documents. It was around ten in the morning. I'd been working since eight. (I'm in human form.) I was wearing a black suit, a white shirt, and a red tie, in case you're wondering. One of my favorite combinations. Kathy says it really brings out my charm.

Then, I put some papers in the typewriter that I needed to fix up. I had my back turned to the door. I was in the middle of typing when I heard the door open behind me. "Morning, Spiny." It was Larry's voice.

I looked at my watch. Late as usual. "Good morning, Punctualsaurus."

He didn't answer. He's used to being tardy. I kept typing, and my back was still to him. I was just hearing him by voice. "Say, Spiny, do you know if we have some peroxide."

"Um, peroxide? I don't know. Maybe in the first-aid kit. Why?"

"Well, I woke up this morning. I had a bad itch on my lower left jaw. I think it's a mosquito bite or something. Why don't you look and tell me?"

I turned around to look. He had the most silly, ridiculous, and pitiful-looking mask you could ever imagine. But I didn't laugh. It wasn't really funny. So all I said was, "Mmm, I don't think it's too bad. Maybe just some itch cream will do."

I turned back to the typewriter. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Larry just staring off into the distance. Then, he took off the mask and said, "Boy, some sense of humor for a guy who's writes the comedy acts for the school theatre."

I stifled a laugh. I couldn't help seeing his reaction. "This thing cost me $19.55 and I haven't gotten a snicker in all day." He turned around, all hunched up and depressed. The mask dropped over his head, so that someone could see it in full frontage.

Then the guy from the delicatessen came in with our coffee. He walked in, right into Larry's mask face, and said, "Hey, Larry." Boy, you should've seen Larry's reaction. He sprang straight up, the mask flipping over the back of his head. His face said, "You too?!"

Anyways, the guy walked over to my desk, setting down the carton box with two coffees and one hot chocolate. That was for me. "Hey, Spiny. How are things doing? Hey, how's the school paper doing? I hope it's better than last edition. Boy, did I have to throw it away. You know, you've got great comedic minds, but why do you put in sitcom comedy and family situations." Oh, yeah, I work in some extracurricular activities. I work with the school newspaper. I do the comedy section. But, since I'm the one who writes it, it's widely published.

Anyways, I gave him the money so he'd shut up and leave already. Then, on the way out, he stopped beside Larry and said, "Say, why don't you guys use more violence? You know, blood and gore and cussing and dirty things?"

I could see Larry was annoyed. He said, "Yeah, instead of a pinch I'll stab you in the head!" He was threatening of course. But the delicatessen guy was too dumb to figure that out. "Now, that's good. That's funny. I like good violence. Why don't put that in the school paper instead of that junk you write!" And he left.

I sighed heavily. Sometimes I think…oh well. Not everyone appreciates what happens.

I laughed and said to Larry. "Him and his great reviews, huh?"

He laughed back. "Yeah. Better than usual."

He sat down at his desk and turned on his computer. After some minutes of nothing but typing, Larry said, "So what you gonna do about that formal matchmaking dinner the girls arranged with or without permission and approval?"

I sighed and leaned back in my chair. "I haven't the slightest idea."

He clicked his tongue. "Well, you gotta figure out how to deal with the whole situation."

"What situation? It's a mess. That's what. A huge mess. I don't even know what to…oh, well."

Larry was about to say something when my desk phone rang. "Hello. King Spiny."

It was Kathy. "Spiny? I sent your tuxedo to get pressed at the tailors. For the dinner we're going to make."

"Look, Kathy, I already told that I don't'…"

"Oh, would you please cool yourself, Spiny? Everything's going to turn out perfect. I guarantee it. I'll see you later." Then she hung up. There was only one tiny problem. Nothing she ever guaranteed ever came out guaranteed.

A few minutes later she texted me saying, "I already sent invitations. I told Roger. Please tell Darla. Bye"

Oh, great. Now I had to invite one of the victims personally. Well, let me tell you something. That was one day I should've stayed home. All I did was mope around and spin in that chair. Well, what else was I supposed to do? I certainly was not going to jump up and down from joy. But on the other hand it wouldn't have been mature of me to try to ruin the whole thing.

So I decided to just go along with the whole idea. I mean, they do say life is unexpected. Who knew what might happen. I tried to keep a positive thought. I kept telling myself that everything was going to turn out great. Yeah, I said to myself. You we're being overdramatic about all this. It's really going to turn out good. You'll see. It'll work out fine.

So, by the end of the day, I decided to keep those positive thoughts ringing through my mind.

I texted Darla and told her to meet me in Arnold's at five thirty. I got there at around 5:15 pm. I ordered a hot chocolate with marshmallows. I still had my suit on, so just about every girl was staring at me. One girl even slipped off the table and fell on the floor. I tried to ignore it. I don't want to say I'm used to it, because that might sound arrogant.

Anyways, I waited there until Darla arrived. She came in wearing a long brown leather coat. I don't know how she managed to stay warm in that cold. Remember, it was December. This part of Amarkia gets cold.

She spotted me right away and sat in the booth across from me. "Hey."

"Hey."

"So, what's up?"

Well, here goes nothing. "Well, look. Kathy, my sister…"

"Well, so far I haven't heard anything I don't know."

I smiled teasingly. "Are you going to let me finish or what?"

She looked at her watch. "I'm waiting."

"Well, Kathy and Patty arranged a small formal dinner for a few friends. There's going to be dates arranged for everyone. And well, you remember Roger?"

She nodded. "And your sister and cousin thought that he and I would be mutually fascinating, right?"

"Well, you know how they are. They LOVE playing matchmakers. So anyways, you're invited."

"So, when's the occasion?"

"This Saturday evening. Around sevenish. Seven thirty. Dinner starts at eight."

She nodded and took out her cell phone. "I'm going write it as a reminder in my agenda. I forget everything." Then she looked at me. "Hey, tell me something. This, uh, Roger guy. I didn't get to talk to him much last night." You didn't let him.

"What's he really like?"

I shrugged. "Well, he's, uh, he's a guy…"

"He's a guy? Good enough. I'll marry him."

I stared at her. "Anything else?"

"What is he studying to be?"

"Oh, he wants to be a laboratory technician."

"Well, that's good. If I date him I'll have a free and endless supply of test tubes."

Oh no. Don't start with the jokes now! This was exactly what I was afraid of. I hoped she wasn't going to be like this at the party. Well, anyways, I told her to please be on time, then said bye and left. Okay, more like ran, 'cause out of nowhere three crazed girls tried to jump me.

Anyways, the whole week went by just like that. (Snaps fingers.) Before I knew it, it was Saturday, January 3, 2015. (All forms of celebrating New Year are banned in Amarkia. We don't observe it.)

Anyways, it was a cold and cloudy day. We'd gotten some snow flurries at noon. Other than that, it was a normal day. Kathy was getting the Guest Dining Room ready. It's on the second floor and it's different than the Breakfast Room, or the Family Dining Room.

This one is especially for formal dinners. It's also used for luncheons, receptions, and when celebrities or heads of state visit, etc. It's fairly large, and it's on the lower-left hand corner of the floor. So if you we're looking at the Palace from above, the Guest Dining Room would be on…well, the lower-left hand corner. Obviously. It's also called the Royal Dining Room.

Like I said, it's quite large and spacious. It has four doors, each one leading to different rooms, and like I said, every dining room in the Palace has its own separate kitchen. And it can house up to 80 people. But since we we're only going to have eight people. Huh?

Wait a minute. Just eight people. Let's see, Lilia and I, Kathy and Richard, Patty and Ken, and Darla and Roger. But the girls had said that they we're going invite…why of all the dirtiest tricks!

Oh, well. There was nothing I could do about it now.

I was there in front of my mirror, adjusting my suit. I decided to not use my tuxedo. I'll tell you later why. I was so nervous my fingers were trembling and I couldn't tie my necktie right. I left my room and headed to the Guest Dining Room. Kathy was already there. She had set her hair back and was wearing a yellow-white dress and white shoes. She was setting down the silverware. And when I mean silverware, I mean real silverware.

The room had a long table and beige-colored walls and ceiling, a fireplace with a painting of King Idrytis over it. He was the first king of Amarkia, remember? And there was a glass chandelier hanging over the middle of the table from the ceiling. And there were three tall, rectangular windows that led to outside.

Anyhow, I said to Kathy, "Hey can you fix my tie? I'm so nervous and jittery that I can't do anything."

She turned around and walked up to me. While she was fixing my tie, she said, "I thought you we're going to wear your tuxedo."

"Well, yeah, but I move easier and more agile in this suit."

"Why do you need to move faster?"

"Well, in case Darla makes a joke and Roger or one of the other guys takes a shot at her, I want to be able to block the punch."

She sighed. "Would you stop it? Everything's going to fine." She finished with my tie and went back to setting the table. Patty walked in, wearing a long, green dress. "Look, don't be nervous. We have nothing to be nervous about."

"She's right you know?" said Kathy.

Now, get this. As soon as she finished her sentence, the doorbell rang, Kathy suddenly said in a worried voice, "Ahh! That's probably one of them!"

I got jumpy myself. I mean, nervous energy is contagious. "Boy, you aren't nervous!"

The three of us ran and pushed each other down to the first floor and to the door. The girls seemed to open the door. I thought of a solution. "Look, girls. I know. If it's Darla, I'll tell her that Roger's been drafted. And if it's him, I'll say that we're under quarantine for chickenpox."

Patty sighed. "Oh, guys, we're being silly and overdramatic. Spiny, please open the door."

That seemed like a reasonable idea. I walked up to the door. I looked at the girls, gulped, took a deep breath, opened the door and saw…


	6. Chapter 6

Okay, relax. It wasn't either of them. It was Richard and Kenneth. Not really people high on my list of friends, but my nerves calmed down at least. For the moment.

Both guys we're wearing tuxedos, had put hair gel in, well, their hair, obviously. And they had corsages. For the girls, of course. Anyways, when I realized it was them, I said, "Oh, hey guys. Come on in."

They both stepped in. "Thanks, Your Majesty sir," said Richard. Oh for crying out loud, you're 16 and I'm 14 and you're dating my sister. Would you please stop trying to make me feel like an old guy?! I mean, really!

Forget it.

Both boys went over to their respective girls, who welcomed them with smiles and blushes and fluttering eyelids and I don't know what else. I couldn't stand to look. When Kathy and Patty had each put their corsage on their dress, and we're about to leave to the dining room, me behind them, the doorbell rang again.

Now, get this. The girls were so wrapped up with their guys that they didn't even come back running to get it. Always me. It's always ME! I have to do everything. Well, my nerves started to act up on me again. With jittery and sweaty hands, I grabbed the doorknob, turned it around, pulled the door open and…okay. False alarm.

It was Lilia. What a relief. WOW! It was all I could think of. Her hair was combed all to one side, which made her look super-cute. And she was wearing a bright yellow dress, with a red belt. That shade of yellow really brought out her beautiful brown eyes. I guess I was staring because she said smiling sweetly, "Um, Spiny. Can I come in. It's cold and dark, and it's snowing a little bit."

I blinked. I felt my face get hot. "Oh, right. Sorry. Sure. Come in."

She walked in and I closed the door behind her. "Can I take your coat?" I said to her.

"Sure, thank you."

I took her dark gray coat and hanged it on the…well the coat rag. Where else do you hang a…this is obvious, so let's move on.

I tried to think of what to say. Fast. "Um, glad you can make it."

She smiled. Oh please don't do that. Every time you smile like that, it melts my heart like butter on a hot day. "I'm glad. I don't really know about matchmaking being effective, but Kathy's my friend. And you know what they say about friends: loyalty in everything."

I nodded. "Yeah, that's what they say."

We laughed and there was an awkward silence. Then the doorbell rang. Oh no! My heart raced again. This time it had to be one of them. "Is that Darla or Roger?" Lilia asked.

I shrugged. "It's one of them I don't know who." I walked back to the door. Then I turned back to Lilia and said, "Well, that's either the lady or the tiger."

She laughed. I grabbed the doorknob, turned it, pulled the door open, and…drum roll please…it was Roger.

He was wearing a black tuxedo, and was holding a medium-sized box in one hand, and a bouquet of flowers in the other. And he was wearing a black top-hat. Looks kind of silly to be honest.

Boy, did he look nervous. More than all right. He looked red all over, and was shaking so bad he could have made a vibrator nervous and jittery. I kinda had to hold my tongue down to stop my laughter. "Hey, Spine."

"Hey, Roger."

He walked in nervously. I mean the poor guy was just shaking like an earthquake in a tub of jelly. Lilia was still there, and she walked up to him and shook his hand. "Hey, Roger!"

"Hi, Lilia. How are you?"

I pointed towards the hallway. "Well, shall we?"

The three of us started down the hall to the dining room. We could already hear talk and laughter from the dining room. Kathy and Patty we're sitting at the couch with their respective dates. I motioned Roger and Lilia over to them. They all said hi and everything and went back to conversing. I sat in another sofa with Lilia and Roger.

Roger seemed quite nervous so I tried to make conversation. It usually works in calming down someone's nerves. I said, "Would you like anything?"

"No thanks, I don't drink or smoke!" Uh, duh! Nobody in this country our age does. And smoking is banned for all ages.

"Do you eat?" I said. "I mean, uh…do you want a hors d'oeuvre?" I handed him a plate of crackers with cream cheese. Yuck!

"Oh, yes….thank you." He took the tray and set it on his left knee, and set a napkin on his right.

Lilia sat beside me and that sent up another wave of electricity into my body. I mean, our shoulders were touching. I could feel my ears get warm. Anyways, we both looked at Roger as he ate slowly from the tray. A tense silence hung. I desperately tried to think of something to say. Anything!

"Oh, this box is candy. I brought it for the girls," he said, handing it to me. "You know what they say: sweets to the sweet."

"Aw. Isn't that sweet?" said Lilia.

"I guess I'm so nervous. I'm just so jittery."

I patted him on the shoulder. "There's nothing to be nervous about, Roger." Then the doorbell rang. "AHHH! That's her!" I jumped and started getting quivering and jittery. I ran, tripped, and stumbled down the stairs and to the front door.

My hands were so shaky that they jumbled the doorknob. I opened it. It was her. She was wearing a long jeans skirt and dark gray blouse with a matchmaking jacket. "Oh, hi, Darla," I said nervously.

"What's up?" She handed me a gift-wrapped box. "Here's a plastic spaceship for Greeny, a puzzle for Rob, and no more words, where is he?!"

Oh no, don't do it! And just like that, she ran up the stairs and to the dining room. She walked in and went over to Roger. He sprang up like a, well, a spring. "Hello, Roger. Are you still single?"

AAHHHHH! His eyes got as big as saucers. "Am I what?"

I had to say something fast, "Uh, listen! Why don't you sit down and have some hors d'oeuvre?" The four of us sat down. I sat beside Lilia and Darla sat beside an extremely nervous Roger. "No, thanks. This is my hors d'oeuvre," she said, giggling and pinching Roger's cheek.

I started panicking on the inside. I was hoping she wouldn't do any more damage than what she already had. Fortunately, before Ms. Comedienne could talk more, Patty announced, "Dinner's ready. Please come to the table."

Everyone stood up and walked over to the dinner table. Darla stuck to Roger like a fly to honey. I tried link my arm into Lilia's, but I didn't have the nerve to. But I did pull the chair for her and helped her get seated.

Anyways, I grabbed the first piece of dinner, since I'm King, and passed it down the line. I didn't grab too much. When I'm overly nervous or excited and I have too much food in the stomach, then later after midnight, I lose the dinner.

Anyways, through dinner, guess who was speaking 98% of the time? Yep, Darla. Oh, you should've seen how she was demolishing him. She said he was a "wonderful dinner companion and a sparkling conversationalist."

And what's wrong with that? you might be asking yourself. I'll tell you what. He didn't say a whole word through the entire dinner!

About halfway through dessert, I stood up and said, "Well! I gotta go check something in the kitchen." Then I said to Patty. "Uh, you wanna come and help?"

I think she knew what I was trying to say. Her face had that Oh, yeah look. Then I walked over to Kathy. "Hey, sis, you want to help?"

"No, I'm fine."

"AHEM!"

"I think I'll help. Excuse me, Richard. I'll be back."

Both girls went into the kitchen, and I said to the guys, "You guys just chat while we work in here."

Both girls were standing there by the oven, one with crossed arms and another with her hands on her waist. I was too mad to tell who was who. It really burned me up that I couldn't tell.

Anyways, one of them—Kathy I suppose—said, "All right. Don't say it. It's our fault, right?"

"I'm not going to say it word for word, but it's not fair."

Then Patty said, "Look, maybe it'll turn out fine." You know that there is such a thing as being too optimistic?

I rolled my eyes and groaned. "Oh, come on. You saw what she did to the poor guy!"

Patty turned around and started messing with the cake. "Well, maybe she'll calm down now that it's over."

I shoved my hands into my pockets. "Any other guy would've socked her right in the nose."

Kathy ran to get out some mugs for the hot chocolate. "Well, maybe the best thing to do is to shorten the evening."

"Yeah…" I muttered. Something clicked in my mind. I went to the counter where Patty had sliced pieces of cake for everyone. I took the individual pieces and put them back with the original cake, then put the dishes in the the, well, the dishwasher, obviously.

Patty looked at me with a shocked look. "What are you doing?"

"Shortening the evening."

Well, like they say, the rest is history. Well, after everyone left, I walked Lilia home. It wasn't a lot of time. I mean, all we had to do was step out of the dining room, go down the elevator, step out the Palace, and walk across the gardens to the gate, then cross the road and up the driveway to her house.

But I was telling her about what a disaster the matchmaking thing had been. She said, "Yeah, I see what you mean. Roger did look a little uncomfortable. He seemed uneasy."

"And see? That's the thing with Roger. With the people he knows well he's very open and social and talkative. But with new people and especially girls, he is shy, retiring, awkward, blushes easily, you know?"

She nodded. "Yeah, poor guy."

"But I've told and told them a thousand times that matchmaking is the worst idea anyone could think of. But, noooo. Nobody ever listens to Spiny, mm-mm."

She chuckled. "Well, I guess tomorrow you'll find out, huh?"

She was right about that. Darla and Larry and I were working on a project together and had reserved one of the computer labs. And I had the feeling that she might tell us how, you know, she'd thought of things.

By now, we were at her door. "Well, I guess tomorrow I'll find out the results of this night's catastrophe."

She crossed her arms and leaned against her door. "Sure hope it turns out well. To tell you the truth I think Roger and Darla would make a great couple."

I chuckled. "You think so, too?"

She nodded. Then she got quiet and looked down. "Well, I guess we should say goodnight then."

I smiled or tried to smile but I think it came out lopsided. "Yeah, I guess so. I looked at her straight into her beautiful eyes. "Goodnight, then."

She smiled and I could feel my cheeks burning. And it wasn't because of the freezing cold air. "Yeah, goodnight. Sweet dreams."

"You too."

She came up to me and hugged me. I didn't hug her back, mostly from the shock. She was so close that her cheek grazed mine as she made the embrace. And her cheek was also burning. Or was it mine? Then, she looked at me. It might have been my imagination, but I thought I heard her say, "You look cute." Then…she kissed me on the cheek and went inside her house.

The place where she'd kissed me felt warm and soothing. The warmness spread to my whole face. I felt a smile across my face, and my heart leaped with joy. We'd been friends for several months now. Maybe now was the time to…well, who knows.

Anyways, I turned around and crossed the street back to the Palace.

I was sure of one thing. The moment Roger and Darla meet, it had been a nuclear meltdown. Something told me it was a matter of very little time before the explosion.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day at school, I left a little late because Greeny didn't want to wake up. Anyway, it was 8:30 or something when I got to the computer lab. I walked in and saw…HUH? Larry? What was he doing at this hour?

I put my coat and scarf on the coat rag and said, "Larry?"

He was on an electric typewriter, typing really fast. He ignored me. "Larry?" I repeated. He looked around. "What? What? Oh, hi there Spiny."

I looked at my wristwatch. "Larry, what time did you get here?"

He continued typing. "Oh, I don't know. Maybe an hour or so." Then he stopped to look at me. "Why?"

"You haven't been early since we started sixth grade. You're late every single day."

Ignoring what I'd said, he said, "Just got an idea for the project. I wanna write it before I forget." He got back to typing. I very slowly walked up to him. "Oh, that's very good. I sure am glad you show an interest in your…" I leaned over, and before he could to anything, I snatched the paper out of the typewriter. I finished my sentence saying, "In your work."

Then I read the so-called "idea" he'd gotten. "Hey! Very clever writing. Great dialogue," I said sarcastically. I read what the paper said out loud. "Sigglevanmfuradsh. Siglrahrlhaminiumumm." I smiled sarcastically at him.

He tried to defend himself saying, "I think it's a good idea; I just don't know how to type!"

I laughed at that and slapped the paper on the desk. "Larry," I said in a low voice. "You're a fraud."

Boy, that got him all stirred up. He stood up as if he'd sat on a bonfire. "A fraud! A fraud!" He looked up to the ceiling and said, "Did you hear that?" He looked back at me. "Me, a fraud?! I work my brains to the white meat around here! I work with…hey, where's Darla anyway?"

I sat on a small couch and started writing in my grammar journal the assignment for today. "Ah, she might me a little late too. You know she worked hard last night, if you know what I mean."

He sat on the chair across from me. "What do you mean?"

"Well it isn't easy to carve up a 125-pound fourteen-year-old sophomore who is studying to be a lab technician in a professional science lab."

He chuckled. "Ah, she did it again, huh?"

I nodded, smiling. "Yep, she did."

Well, speak about timing! Guess who came walking in at that moment. Yep, Lady Penelope. Darla that is. Huh. When she walked in, wearing the dark blue jeans and the black blouse, she seemed a little, I don't know. Down. Maybe even depressed. She was looking down and she softly said, "Hey, guys."

Larry noticed her mood and said, "What are you so happy about? Come on, pipe down!" He snapped his fingers. She gave him a look. You know a look that says "Oh, really?!"

She shrugged and set her book bag on one of the chairs. "Ah, I guess I ate too much last night. I woke up with an upset stomach." She sat down in the chair beside Larry. He said, "Say, Spiny was telling me that you were a sweet delight last night," he said with a teasingly smile.

"I told him that you were the life of the party," I explained.

She laughed quietly and looked down at her lap. "Yeah, that's me. Darla Baker, jokes for every occasion!" She didn't seem too happy about it.

"So, what'd you think of Roger?" Larry asked.

"I don't know," she said.

Larry looked at her with an astonished look. "What do you mean you don't know? How could you not know?"

"Well…he and I didn't get to talk much."

"But it was only the eight of you."

"I know, but…"

"What I think Darla means," I said, "is that Roger didn't say much."

"I didn't give him much chance to talk," said Darla.

She looked at me. "Spiny? Has Roger called you?"

I shook my head. "No, he hasn't."

"Are you sure?"

"Well, let me check," I said, taking my phone out of my pocket. I swiped the keypad to unlock it and checked under Recent Calls. Nope. No Roger. I told Darla so. She said, "Has he called Kathy or Patty."

"I don't know, let me see." I texted both girls asking them if Roger had called to talk to Darla. They both said no. I looked up at Darla and shook my head. "No. Nothing. Wait, I think Kathy gave Roger your number. Maybe he called you. It'd come up as an unknown number."

She looked down again and shook her head. "No, I checked this morning at breakfast and when I got here. Nobody's called me."

Well, speaking of which. At that moment, Darla's phone rang. Just in case you want to know, her call tone sounded like a piano. Like Beethoven's 5th symphony. She got very excited and right away a smile spread on her face. She answered it. "Hello?" And just like that, her smile dropped. "Oh, hold on." She said to us, "Do you think we'll need the encyclopedias?"

Larry nodded. "Yeah. I told them to call you to bring it over here."

Darla got back on the phone. "Yeah, send them up to Computer Lab Room 4. It's on the second floor. Yeah, all right. Bye."

Then she stood up and walked over to a desk and sat down. "Well, guys. What do you say? Get to work on this?"

Larry and I looked at each other. He shook his head. "Well, uh," I started to say. "No, Darla, we don't have to start right away. We can talk, you know, about the weather, or look at the newspaper."

"Yeah, we can have a smiling contest. See who can be the happiest longer," Larry said. We both gave her smiles.

Darla looked at us annoyed. "What's the matter with you two?!"

Then Larry said, "Come on, what's the matter? You look like a cheerleader for an accident."

"Darla, we're just trying to cheer you up. There's something bothering you. We don't have to start with project. We could tell stories, or make up jokes."

She chuckled at that. "Jokes? Huh. I wanna make jokes. Gotta make jokes." With every sentence she started talking slower and her voice was starting to break. "Didn't I tell a lot of great jokes last night, Spiny?"

I didn't answer. I just looked at Larry then back at Darla. Darla laughed at herself. "Oh, you should've seen me, Larry. I was a mini-demonstration. I was so funny that…Roger almost smiled." By now, she was in full tears. "I was so funny…I couldn't stand myself!" She slammed her fists against the desk. Then, now sobbing completely, she stood up and ran outside; pushing the guy who'd brought the encyclopedias.

Well, Larry and I didn't get a whole lot of work done. And all the rest of the day, Larry and I tried to look for her, but we didn't find her. Larry even suggested looking in the girl's bathroom. Of course I didn't. That's stupid.

Anyways, a few hours later, during lunch, Larry and I were with the Gang. You know, Kathy, Patty, Lilia, and the two of us. Dimetroodon was sick so he wasn't there. We'd told them what happened. "All right, then," said Kathy. "Go ahead; say it was our fault and that we shouldn't have butted in."

Our table is right next to the place where you order, and I was getting a chocolate milkshake. "All right," I said. "It was your fault. You should've stayed out of the whole thing." Then sitting down next to Lilia I said, "But if you think Roger was miserable, you should've seen poor Darla. She was just…wow. I'd never actually seen her cry before."

"We've been trying to look for her all over the school and we can't find her," said Larry

"I saw her a little while ago," said Patty.

"Where?" I asked.

"In the janitor's storeroom."

HUH?! "In the storeroom?! What the heck was she doing there?" I said.

"She was crouched down, arms wrapped around her legs, head down and crying. She didn't know I saw her."

Lilia shook her head. "Oh, poor girl. She must feel just awful."

We all nodded and agreed. I shrugged. "Well, that just proves my point. Matchmaking just doesn't work. And I warned you two."

Kathy scoffed. "You don't have to gloat about it," she muttered, rolling her eyes.

"I'm not gloating. I'm just saying what I said before. That you do not throw in a canary in with the cat. And especially not a tiny cat and a GIANT canary."

"All right, so you made your point across! But how will we get them to not be sad anymore?"

"You got me," I confessed. Then the bell rang and we left to our respective classes. The whole day I tried to think of a solution to a problem that wasn't even mine. To resolve a problem I hadn't started. Or should I say, was forced to start. I couldn't think of anything.

Hours later, the family and I were in the living room. Greeny was watching one of his shows, Robert was fast asleep with white earphones in his ears, and Patty was putting away some dishes, while Kathy was sewing and I was reading. The whole Situation weighed on our minds like a boulder on our backs.

The doorbell rang. That puzzled me. I wasn't expecting anybody. "You guys expecting someone?"

"Nope," said Kathy.

"Not me," said Patty.

"Me neither," said Greeny, not taking his eyes off the TV.

Robert shook his head and said in a very sleepy voice, "Not me."

Anyhow, I stood up and went to get it. "Roger?!"

And just like that, Kathy and Patty were at the door with me. They were shocked too. "Roger, why…what are you doing here?" Kathy said.

He stepped in and closed the door behind him. "I wanted to talk to you, because, well frankly I'm a little upset about last night."

The three of us exchanged glances. "We thought you might be," I said.

We showed him to the living room. I sent to boys to their rooms, because this was a delicate matter and they didn't need to know about this. Roger was just standing there, playing with the end of his green polo shirt. He really seemed upset.

After the boys left, Patty said, "Look, Roger. Just so you'll know, it was Kathy and me who thought the idea of you meeting Darla."

Almost on instinct, I put my arms around both girls and said, "Oh come, you two. It was more my idea." You might be saying to yourself Why are you saying that? Frankly, I don't know. I mean, I'd been against the whole idea right from the start. But, well, I felt partly responsible. And besides, I couldn't let Kathy and Patty take the whole blame. It was my job as older brother and cousin to share in taking the heat.

Roger looked at us with…you could say amazement. "Guys…I'm shocked at you!"

Shocked? For what? "Why are you shocked?" Patty asked.

"For trying to grab credit from each other."

Had he just said what I thought he said? "Credit?" I said.

"Yeah," he said. "For the delightful evening I had."

HUH?! DELIGHTFUL?! "You had a delightful time?" Kathy asked in obvious shock.

"Of course!" he said. Then he smiled and went over to sit down at the couch. "That Darla…she sure does go on. She's really great, isn't she? I'd never laughed that much in my life."

You didn't open your mouth through the whole evening expect to eat. You didn't even wave bye-bye! "Roger, we didn't see you laugh," I said.

"Oh, not here. Last night when I got home."

Oh. That would explain it. "Well, and what do you think of Darla?" said Patty.

"Oh, she's funny and smart and nice and pretty…" Pretty? Darla pretty? Well, they do say beauty is in the eye of the beholder. What could be pretty to someone could be not-so-pretty to me. Or vice versa. Or both.

Well the important thing was that Roger had thought well of Darla. Then Roger looked at us. "Say, do you think Darla would like to go out with me sometime?"

"Well, I'm not sure. Why don't you ask her?" said Kathy.

Roger laughed and rolled his eyes. "Oh, I'd like to. But I don't think I'm her type. Do you?"

"Well," I said, "I, uh, I don't want to butt in. It's not really for me to say. But," I said standing up to get the house phone next to the couch and handing it to Roger, "it would be easy to find out by calling her. Her number is 359098."

Roger looked down. "Well, I…what was that number?"

"359098!" Kathy, Patty and I all said at the same time. Then we looked at each other. Guess we didn't expect to be thinking the same thing at the same time.

Well, Roger called her and a few minutes later at the end of the call, he was saying, "Yes. Yes. Well, I don't know. Maybe about $25. Why?" Then he laughed. "All right. Goodbye, Darla!" Then he hung up. "Oh, she really is a great person."

"Hey, Roger? What was that about the $25?" I asked.

"Heh. She wanted to know how much money I was going to spend on her so she'd know how well to get dressed for me."

Oh, wow! The four of us all laughed at that. Well, maybe I had been wrong. Things had turned out well. But I never imagined that…well, you'll find out.


	8. Chapter 8

Well, as might already know, the whole school was getting ready for the school Winter Formal. And obviously, we were all a little nervous. I mean who wouldn't be? I sure was.

And how did Roger and Darla do on their date, you might be wondering? Well, about three days later, we were all in the park playing in the snow. Well, except Roger. Remember, he lives in Waterfall City and that's a 70-minute drive to the north. Like the name says, the city is actually on the edge of a waterfall. Cool, huh? Anyways, what was I saying?

Oh, right. Playing in the snow. It wasn't much. Just like a foot or so. We don't get as much snow as the cities closer to the mountains. Anyways, we were playing out in the snow. We were on two teams: Kathy, Darla, and Lilia and I on one team and Dimetroodon, Larry and Patty on another.

Both teams had set up a wall as a shield. Then, we'd crouched down behind it, make a big pile of snowballs of all sizes, then just throw them. Oh, it was fun! A bunch of fourteen-year-olds playing with snowballs like a bunch of little kids. Very innocent.

Our team was in the process of bombarding the others, when I decided to ask. It was too bad Loudmouth Kathy beat me to it. "So, Darla. Did you and Roger kiss?"

I dropped my snowball and looked at Kathy in complete shock. What. The. Heck. Did. You. Just. SAY?! Oh, no. I could feel my face get hot from embarrassment. I mean, really? You expect a tomboy to get her first kiss on the first date? I could see Darla's face get red, too. "Oh, come on Kath. We just went to the movies. That's all. Nothing else happened."

Kathy ignored her going like ouuuuuu! I hate it when people do that. It tears me up. But do you think that stops her? No sir! Never! "Oh, come on. We're among friends. You can tell us! What'd he do when he sat next to you?" she said with a teasingly smile.

I groaned. "Oh, for goodness sake! Could you please not talk this in my presence? Talk about it at a girl's slumber party or something!"

Well, that got her quiet. Finally. I mean, there's such a thing as limits. Then Darla looked at me and said, "Say, Spiny, how did you do on your first date?"

HUH?! Quick pause here. It's a fact that not a lot of people now. As a matter of fact, nobody outside my family and Larry knows. I may be an international teen heartthrob, and all that. I mean, just the fact that I'm the head of a country makes me very well known internationally. I'm just as well-known as the President of the US or the Queen of England.

And sure, I'm the most popular kid at school. And some girls, okay, a whole lot of girls like me a lot and I might act a little like a suave debonair sometimes. But I also tend to keep my personal life private. Especially my interpersonal relationships.

So here goes. I've never dated a girl ever. Not once in my life. I was in the process of telling Darla this when without warning, POW! A 4-inch ball of frozen water smacked me on the right cheek.

It hurt. Oh, it hurt! And it hurt BAD! Now you might say it was nothing. Ha! Well in that case you don't know what pain is. Just try it. Tell a friend to grab a snowball and throw it at full range at ten feet away from you so that it hits you on the cheek. It stings.

Anyways, the impact knocked me down. My body got knocked down so hard that I made a 9-inch deep impression of my body on the snow. Then I heard a voice from the other team saying, "Strike one!"

Larry. I'll kill him! I stood up, teeth gritted, jaw tightened, and fists clenched. I stomped over to him. Not walked, stomped! Marched. You know the angry walk? I walked up to him until I was right in his face.

He twisted his mouth and started playing with my face with his fingers. "Strike one? Foul ball? Touchdown? Penalty? I give up."

Just breathe. Breathe. Don't do anything irrational. I just gave him a laugh that said, "Just wait till we get home. You'll get what's coming to you."

Then, in a voice that everyone could hear, I said, "Hey! Why don't we call it a day and head over to Café Bon Nuit?"

Everyone agreed with me. As the name suggests, it's a café owned by a Plateosaurus. They're descended from the original Plateosaurus that are from France. Hence the name Bon Nuit. Anyways, we all went to the café and ordered hot chocolates. And donuts. Warm, freshly-made donuts not ten minutes ago. No frozen things in this country that you just reheat in an oven. No sir, everything here is fresh. Heh. And when I mean everything, I mean everything. Why once, when I was riding in the train, I had to change my seat about five times because the girls sitting next to me got fresh. Ha, get it?

Moving on. We were sitting at a booth, dunking our donuts into the hot chocolate, when Darla said, "Hey, Spiny. You didn't answer my question."

"What question?"

"You know what. What I asked you in the park right before you got struck by Lefty Larry." Ha, that was funny. But what had she asked me? Oh, no. Uh-oh. No, not that. Especially not that. Especially not in front of all my friends. Especially if that included Lilia. I tried desperately to appear calm. "I don't know what you're talking about." Oh, nice going, Spiny. With that stupid, innocent tone of voice, nobody will suspect anything.

Darla's getting annoyed now. I can tell. Her green eyes are getting kinda…well, fiery. Like they're about to explode. "You know what I mean! I asked you what you did on the first date you ever had."

Six pairs of eyes were all locked on me. I turned around just to see if there weren't any gossip magazine reporters or undercover agents or things like that. Then I turned to them and said in a very serious tone of voice, "You guys promise not to tell anyone?"

They all nodded. "All right. This is the truth. I've never dated a girl in my life."

Like I said, Kathy and Patty and Larry already knew. But of course they acted surprised. Larry put on a big dramatic act of acting like he was chocking, then he grabbed his neck and dropped to the floor having fake convulsions and seizures. So much for inconspicuous.

Dimetroodon was so surprised that when he dropped the doughnut from his mouth, it bounced on the floor. That's right. It bounced. As if it was made from rubber. Darla's eyes looked like they were about to bulge out of her head. And Lilia was…her mouth was open, maybe from shock, too. And she just stared at me. And maybe I'm mistaken or something, or maybe I imagined it, but maybe I thought I saw her smile.

"That's right. I haven't dated yet. I'm…up for grabs," I said, finishing with a laugh.

"Wow, that is, like, oh my gosh, I can't believe this, really?!" Yep. Darla said all that without even stopping to take a one-second breath. Another thing about Darla. She's a gossiper. Well, not really. She doesn't really gossip. But we get to find out everything from her. I mean, she finds out everything. Really, I mean, it's like she's got transistors in her teeth or radar in her brain or something.

"Okay, I told you guys. But you've got to keep this quiet. Not that I'm too worried about my public image, but as a famous person, I've learned that it's best to keep the personal life as far away from the public and the media as possible. Because then innocent facts turn into really nasty rumors and before you know it, people start believing lies and make fun of the truth."

They all agreed to keep it quiet. Anyways, now they knew. Things like these aren't easy to tell, even to your closest friends and trusted family members. I guess it sorta makes people expect less of you. So, I explained to them why.

Darla said, "But, WHY? I mean, and I'm not exaggerating, ALL the girls everywhere are just dying for you! You know there's Kylie Anderson…"

Oh, don't start with her! Plus, I could see Lilia get uncomfortable every time we talked about her. Maybe she doesn't like to show it, but Lilia's got a HUGE jealous streak. I mean, she's very jealous when she sees ANY other girl other than Darla talking to me.

So, just to save some embarrassment, I said, "Hold it! Don't talk to me about that…that….I don't know what!"

"Oh, okay," said Darla. "But there's also Caitlyn, Melanie, Miranda, Juliet, Angelica, Rachel, Barbara…"

Larry was getting annoyed. "Oh, for goodness sake! Do you have to say every single name?!"

"I was just saying! The point is that I wouldn't expect that a very-well known teen heartthrob like Spiny would have never dated ever."

By this time, my cheeks had turned crimson. "Could we please change the subject?"

"Yeah, you're right," said Dimetroodon. "Why don't we talk about the quantum fluctuations on the effects of the theory of nuclear fission on atomic matter at its very simplest?"

We all looked at him and said, "WHAT?"

Kathy said, "Would you please talk in English?"

He gave her a frown. "Just trying to make conversation. That's all."

"Well, we don't exactly appreciate your efforts to do so," said Patty.

We stayed there for another half an hour, then Dimetroodon said, "Well, I don't mean to be a spoil sport, but…" he pointed at the clock on the wall. 7:45 pm. And remember; in winter the days are shorter. It was already dark outside. So we all grabbed our things and left. Put on our winter clothes, stepped outside and trudged outside through the snow for the walk home. Dimetroodon left about halfway to where his house was. His house is a regular suburban three-story house with a wooden fence and a science lab.

Obviously. What do you expect from the school nerd?

Not to insult or anything. I'm just saying.

Darla took the bus, because she lives a little bit farther.

And then, when we got to our street, Royal Avenue, and to our block, I turned to Kathy, Patty, and Larry. "I'll walk Lilia to her house."

Larry had an evil smile on his face. "Why should you? It's only up to her door. She can walk alone."

"Because I want to! You got a problem with that?!"

He rolled his eyes and said, "Dotle-ee dotle-ee doo doo doo!"

I pushed him onto the street, "Oh, calm down! Shut your yap!"

He and the girls left to the Palace, while Lilia and I walked up her driveway. I looked at her. "Sorry about Larry. It's just his way of having fun."

She laughed. "Yeah, he's our Comedian, huh? Always funning around."

"Hmph! Life with Larry is a million laughs," I said half-sarcastically. I mean, sometimes Larry really did do funny things. But it's not so funny when you happen to be the target of his twisted sense of humor. I know from experience, believe me.

Well, enough about that. If I talk about Larry more than three minutes I get sick. We were now at Lilia's door. "So," she said, "you've never dated?"

I shoved my hands into the pockets of my thick winter grayish coat. "Nope. Can't say I have." I looked at her. "How about you?"

She smiled and her face turned pink. "Well…not really. Guess no boy's ever liked me."

That's not true. I like you. I really like you. Maybe I even love you. Why do we have to stay as friends? All those thoughts ran through my mind. But, I didn't think it was the right moment for me to say them. "Oh, I'm sure some boy's liked you. A guy who have to be foolish not to like you."

She giggled. I like her giggle. "Oh, thanks. But, there's always hope. Right?"

I nodded. "Right." Well, this was getting awkward. I clasped my hands together. "Well! See you, then?"

She nodded. "Yeah. See ya. Hey, wait? How about a hug?"

Miss a chance to hug Lilia Woods? You're kidding, right? Not in a million years! I walked back up to her and she had her arms extended out. I pulled her into a warm embrace. Even in the frigid and snowy atmosphere, and in several layers of winter clothes, it sent electricity all through me. Then, she whispered goodnight into my ear and stepped into her house.

I walked slowly down the driveway, in the direction of the Palace Gates. I was lost, deep in thought when I saw something that caught my attention. A shadowy figure in the dark came out from behind the bushes in front of me. Well, whoever it was, he or she was a dinosaur. I could see the tail. It was bipedal. It was also a theropod. That's the name for all the carnivorous dinosaurs.

He or she had no outstanding features like armor, horns, ridges or a sail on the back. It was a simple-body dinosaur. He/she was holding something in both hands. It was large, black, with a square-shaped front and what seemed to be a circular lens. Lens? HUH?!

"Larry! What are you doing!?"

He snickered. "Great. I got everything on camera. I'm going to upload it on YouTube."

I squinted my eyes at him. "You do that and I'll turn you into a fossil!"

"Or maybe I could, ah, email it to the New York Times…" He smiled nastily.

"You wouldn't!" I said.

"Oh, wouldn't I? Says who?"

"Says me!"

"Make me!" He ran to the Palace.

I ran after him. "Hey, stop! Stop, you coward!"

All he did was laugh and make faces at me. He burst through the door with me after him. He ran up the stairs, up to the third floor. Let me tell you, you gotta have a good amount of adrenaline in your system in order to be able to run up three stories without losing your oxygen or getting cramps in your legs. Just to show how mad I was.

Anyways, after that he ran down the hallway, into my room, to my computer, and…huh? Where'd he go? I looked around. He was behind the door. "Oh, hi. Where you looking for me?"

"All right! Give me that camera or I'll pulverize you!"

He broke into laughter. "Gee whiz! Spiny, can't you ever play along when you're being joked with? I was just kidding you."

I looked at him suspiciously. "Were you?"

"Of course. Who would want to hear that the King of the most advanced and unique nation in the world is…chicken."

Now that got me all riled up. I HATE being called a coward. Whether someone calls me chicken, coward, yellow-bellied, or turkey, I HATE it. Makes my skin crawl.

I was steaming. "Did you call me chicken?!"

He shrugged as if he'd said nothing. "Well, yeah. I mean, you're in love with her. She's in love with you. You're mutually fascinating. You have similar interests. You enjoy each other's company. Why don't you stop hiding under the bed and tell her?"

"Look, Larry. You'd never understand because you never have, never did, and never will know what this feeling feels like! So just leave me alone." I took off my sweater and started getting into my pajamas and slippers. But Muleheaded-saurus Larry kept on talking. "Well, seems to me that people who love each other should always tell."

I was in the bathroom changing. "Yeah, but look at it this way," I yelled through the door. "Lilia has been living across the street for 5,600 years. And in all that time. I ignored her. I ran away and hid from her. And in private, I'd insult her and say mean things about her. Once I even hid under the table in a party so that she wouldn't tell me that she liked my suit."

I could hear Larry snickering. Boy was I going to let him have it one of these days! "I heard that!" I stepped out, fully dressed for sleeping. "Anyways, after all these thousands of years I finally sorta see who she really is."

We'd gotten an extra bed for Larry. He got tired of curling into a ball next to my bed. Of course, it wasn't like mine. Mine was a King size bed. His was a Twin size. My bed's frame was pure glistening gold. And the sheets were the best and finest scarlet-colored silk and linen. I had several types of pillows also made from excellent materials.

Larry's bed was…well, normal. Like your bed. Well, almost. His pillow cover was a picture of the front cover of Oliver Twist. He really loves that story.

Anyways, when I came out he was already under the covers. I kept talking as I took off my slippers and slipped under the covers too. "And I saw who she really is. She's smart, she's nice, she's pretty, and she's great company. But, for now, we're sort of in the 'Getting to Know You Better First' stage."

Larry rolled his eyes. "Spiny, you've been in that stage for five months. You've taken her to the movies about twice, gone only to one dance with her, no dates, no hanging out with just her; only as a group."

I shrugged. "These things don't happen overnight. You know they say love is patient and takes time."

"Yeah, well, everybody says that," he muttered.

"Look, let's not get worried about this. Just let go of our grip on the world and surrender yourself to the wonderful, utopic world of Dreamland."

"Huh?"

"That means go to sleep, Larry."

"Oh! Right. Goodnight."

"Goodnight."

I leaned over and turned off the lamp next to the nightstand. I laid facing up and waited for my eyelids to get heavy. I was lost deep in thought, looking up at the ceiling, reflecting of my great job and responsibility as King of a whole country, when Larry said in a quiet voice. "Spiny?"

"Hmm."

"You awake?"

"Yeah."

"You ever get the urge to kiss Lilia?"

I felt my face getting red. Not from anger. From embarrassment. Why? Because I did want to kiss her. Not the friendly or sisterly-brotherly and very rare kisses we gave each other on the cheek. I mean a real one. A true kiss of love.

I didn't answer. "Goodnight, Mr. Irritating."

"But…"

"I said goodnight."

"But don't you want to…"

"SHUT UP AND GO TO SLEEP!"

Silence. I waited for half an hour. Next sound I heard was snoring. Phew! Finally! I mean, please!

Now I could surrender myself to the warm embrace of wonderful sleep. Ahhh…it just feels so relaxing. Letting go of all the responsibilities and worries for several hours and just doing nothing but closing your eyes and lying in the most comfortable bed known to mankind.

You know how in the movies the main character goes through a time of quiet and tranquility before the big event? Sort of the calm before the storm?

I should've known this was the calm.

Now, the storm was coming.


	9. Chapter 9

Next day was Wednesday. I decided to go to school. I guess I'm the only one who can actually decide whether he wants to go or not, right? Anyways, I was in the library, my second-favorite place on Amarkian soil. My first-favorite place is the area on the map of Amarkia at the beginning of every story where it says Restricted.

It contains land that is only admissible to the Royal Family. Only we are allowed to enjoy it. Now, looking at it in the map, it may not seem like a lot of land. But, this is not so. When you were little did you ever see Blue's Clues? You know how the house seemed really tiny from outside but was actually huge from the inside? That's how this is. From a map, the area looks small, but in reality it's huge. Like a whole different continent. It contains prairies, forests, lakes, rivers, mountains, valleys, etc. It's also where our Royal Farms are. This is where we get all our food. Fruits, vegetables, milk, eggs, things like that.

Anyway, there's a special place that I particularly like. It's in a valley, where the sunlight casts a beautiful stray of sunshine. There's a small lake, with crystal blue water. And several yards away from the lake is a lone sycamore/oak/maple hybrid tree. It's about thirty feet tall. And it's perfect for sitting down under it and every sunset, you get to feel the entire warmth and light of the sun going down.

And especially in the autumn when the leaves change color? Oh, it's beautiful. Definitely my favorite place in the world. And the tree is sort of on this edge of a small cliff and you get a great vista from up there.

So, that's my favorite place in the world.

Anyways, I'm here in the library, studying up on my World History project. I'm holding a thick book about the Middle Ages in one hand and taking hundreds of notes with my right hand in my history journal.

When I'm deep into my Study Mode like that, I keep my eyes glued to whatever I'm doing, but my ears are always alert to what's happening elsewhere around me. It's a skill I learned while I was being trained to be King.

So anyways, I'm here studying and I hear doors opening and closing. Then, footsteps…coming to me? I looked up briefly expecting Lilia, Dimetroodon, and Kathy, Larry or one of them.

Oh no! It was Kylie. I groaned in my mind and rolled my eyes. Now what did she want? To pester me, as always. The only question now was what kind of evil plot was she planning? Or should I say, what kind of evil plan was she plotting? Heh, get it? Sorta of play on words. Ha, that's…not so funny. Forget it.

"Hiya, Spiny McDreamy," she said.

I took a deep breath and said in a casual tone of voice, "Hi, Kylie."

Uh-oh. She's sitting down next to me. "What you doing?"

"Oh, just studying for a project. World History."

She scoffed as if to say, "Oh, PLEAZZE!" Then she said, "Oh, why waste time on that?"

Waste time? Excuse me? "Well, it just so happens that I want to pass this grade. Why else would I study?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, I don't know…so you can impress a nerdy, geeky, weird, crazy, social outcast, like uh…the girl across the street."

I felt my temper rising and my teeth gritted. "Look, don't start that. Lilia is smart, well-educated, responsible, trustworthy, and yes, beautiful girl. And that's that. Now, get out of here and leave me to study."

Her eyes looked shocked. As if someone had burned her album signed by Justin Bieber. Which is not a bad idea, considering.

She gave me an evil glare. "You'll be sorry for this, Prettyface. You'll be sorry for this," she whispered angrily.

To heck with her! I'm not scared in her threats the least little bit. A fly wouldn't be afraid of her. Well, I finished studying and left for my next class. Science. Funny, Kathy, Darla, and Lilia were also in that class. Yet, they all gave me the cold shoulder. I mean, I said hi to them, but none of them answered. Huh.

And when class ended and I was grabbing my books to leave, someone tapped me on the shoulder. I turned around and before I could see who it was WHAMO! The slap made me turn around and stumble. HUH?! My eyes got blurry and my vision was distorted.

My eyes focused and it was…Darla?! Why would she slap me? "What was that for?" I mean, I needed an explanation, for crying out loud!

"Liar!" she said. What?

Then Kathy came, also looking furious. Know what she did? She punched me in the stomach. Never knew she was that strong until she knocked the air out of me. "Cheater!"

What?

And then Lilia came. She not only looked mad, she looked hurt and maybe even a little bit sad. She raised her right foot and BANG! Like an iron hammer she slammed it on my foot. And it HURT! I stood there in pain and limping, dropping my books on the floor and limping. What was with that? "I thought you were my friend," she said, now in tears.

HUH?! I was so stunned by all this that the pain kinda numbed. Then, all girls turned to me and…you won't believe this. They all STUCK THEIR TONGUES AT ME! That's right. And just like that, they left.

What. Had. Just. Happened.

I was dumbfounded. I couldn't believe it. Why had they turned on me like a pack of wolves? What had I done? Okay, so maybe I was still eating the last piece of homemade apple pie during Algebra class, but that was no reason to get angry like that.

I ran my mind through the last few hours to see what I had done that was wrong. Hmmm. I didn't button my shirt right. Remember, I go to school every day wearing collared shirts and dress pants. No ties, just the shirt with the top button unbuttoned.

But that couldn't be it. Oh, this was hard. I couldn't think of anything. Well, by the end of the day I still didn't know. That day I'd ridden my bike to school, and went out to the bike stand. They were all there, waiting for me. "Hi," I said.

They all looked at with me with the most enraged looks you could imagine. I got kinda scared. I mean, it looked like they wanted to murder me. I mean, when I walked up to to unlock my bike, they stepped away from me like I had the smallpox and Kathy said, "Well, I guess we have to leave."

Lilia nodded. "Right, we don't associate with certain people." What was she talking about? I hadn't done anything to harm anyone. Now, why were they treating me like Jessie James or Jack the Ripper?

Well, they left me there alone with my thoughts. At that moment, Patty arrived. She looked…well she didn't seem mad. She walked up to her bike which was next to mine. She smiled at me. Finally! Someone smiles at me. "Hello, Spiny. Have you been waiting long?"

"No…I've been waiting for ten minutes but it seems like three hours."

"Why is that?"

I explained to her how the girls had suddenly treated me like the rat of the world and for no good reason. I was just dumbfounded. One thing about Patty. She's a real good listener. Even though she's my cousin she can act like an older sister. Sometimes she even acts like a mother to me.

She twisted her mouth and started thinking. "Well, that is peculiar."

I looked down at my feet. "We, uh, we should go. If not Marie Antionnite will start to worry."

Patty laughed. Well, at least one girl still loved me. I we rode our bikes back home. I stopped just before entering our driveway. I looked at Lilia's house. Perfectly trimmed bushes, spic 'n spat grass. Beautiful trees casting great shadows over the place. A spotless white fence. Rows of roses, tulips, orchids, and irises in the front yard and the sides. It was the picture perfect.

I stared at it for so much time that everything around it got dark and fuzzy. Patty poked my shoulder. "Why don't you go and try to explain things to her? I'm sure she'll understand. I mean, you're good with delicate matters like this." Then she smiled. "And let's face it; you're a professor when it comes to treating and talking to girls."

I felt my face get warm. "Well…all right. I'll go and see if I can't straighten this thing out. I don't know how I manage to get myself into messes like this where I am the innocent victim of circumstance."

She shrugged. "Guess just one of those things that happen."

I smiled lopsidedly. I could feel confidence rising within me. "Yeah. I'm going over to the house across the street. Here, put my bike away, would you?"

"Sure."

And with that, I ran across the street up the driveway and to the front door. I was a mess inside. I got all jittery and nervous. This was only the second time in all the 5,600 years they'd been living across the street from us that I was ringing their doorbell. My finger was so shaky that when I rang the doorbell I accidentally hit it three times.

All right. Nothing to be nervous about. You are in the right. You are the innocent one. So there's no reason to be afraid. The door pulled open. It was Lilia. Wow…no matter what she was wearing she always seemed beautiful. But when she saw that it was me, she slammed the door in my face.

Or tried to. See, I placed my foot so that it wouldn't close. And of course it hurt. I think I even heard some bones crunching. Too bad it was the same foot she'd stepped on. I put both my hands on the door and forced it open. (I look skinny to some people. Others think I'm lean or wiry. But I'm actually kinda strong. You don't have to have bulging muscular arms to be strong you know.)

Anyways, I stopped her before she could slam the door in my face and said, "Now, look here, Lilia! I came over here to talk and I want you to listen."

"I don't want to," she said, her voice breaking. I hoped she wasn't about to cry, because that would make me cry and then who would stop me?

"I didn't ask you if you wanted to listen. You will listen to me? Don't you believe in fair trails? Don't you think all persons accused of doing something wrong should be able to talk to a fair judge?"

I heard her sigh. "All right." She stepped outside and closed the door behind her. Then, she looked at me with those irresistible light brown eyes that can penetrate deep into your soul. I took a few silent deep breaths and cleared my throat. And hoped that my voice wouldn't break. Remember, I'm 14 and that's when a guy's voice's changes.

Anyways, I said, "Now just please hear me out. Just hear my explanation and my story. Then you can declare me guilty or innocent and punish me however you like."

She crossed her arms and leaned against the door, tilting her head and looking down at the ground.

"Now, look. I have absolutely no idea why you treated me the way you did. You not only left my foot like a pizza run over by an army truck, you hurt me emotionally. I never thought you would jump to conclusions or be unfair about this. Now, I am not bragging, but I happen to have a great memory. A photogenic memory. I've been trained to memorize the tiniest details. And sincerely, I cannot, repeat, cannot remember doing anything to make you or my sister or Darla that mad at me. And in case you want my personal opinion…" Oh boy, here comes the hard part. "…that was pretty unfair and well, childish the way you acted."

I cleared my throat, and said in a softer tone of voice, "I rest my case."

Phew! Getting all that off my chest felt good. I mean, when you're falsely accused of doing something, it feels good to state your defense.

She hadn't taken her eyes off the ground. I shoved my hands into the pockets of my jacket. It wasn't that cold as it had been and much of the snow had already melted. Plus, the sun had come out. But it was still in the upper 40's. I guess she wasn't affected by cold.

Anyways, she looked at me. Her eyes seemed…well, kind of watery. She sighed and wiped her eyes with her sleeve. "Spiny, you stated your defense. Now, I'm going to tell you what you're accused of." Oh! Here it came.

"The thing is, I thought, and well, Kathy and Darla and I came to the conclusion that you had set up Darla with Roger to make fun of them and that you didn't think they were worth making happy. And that you thought it was a very stupid idea your sister had thought of. And…that you asked Kylie to a movie after the Winter Formal."

Well! And I thought I'd heard everything! "What? Where did you get such crazy ideas? Where did you get an idea like that?"

"Well, the girls and I were in the girls' restroom and Kylie walked in and told us that she'd talked to you in the library and that you'd said all those things."

By now, I was staring at her in utter disbelief. "And you believed Big Mouth Kylie?"

Her face got red, maybe from being ashamed. "Well…yeah."

I sighed. "Look, maybe you don't realize this. But look, Number One rule for survival in Sauropolis Junior High School is 'Never, NEVER, NEVER believe anything that Kylie Anderson says.' Really, you should figure that."

"So…you didn't say all those things?"

"Of course not! I'd be some nut to say that! I'll admit that I don't approve of matchmaking, but seeing how great the results were, I'd make an exception in this case. Second, both Darla and Roger are very good friends of mine. I care about them really much and if they're happy with each other, that's fine with me. I wouldn't make fun of my friends of my life depended on it. And while Kathy can be wacky, crazy, and eccentric and doesn't always listen to me, she's a great person. She's my sister!"

So far so good. Now comes the big finale. "And last but not least…I already invited you to the Winter Formal, and I would not change my mind, not for anything or anyone in this universe or any other universe."

Don't know why I said that. I'll let you in on a secret: Larry and I have traveled to other dimensions and other universes. And in some of my stories, I'll give you the privilege of coming along with us. Not anytime soon, but I'll let you know when we're making the transition.

Anyways, I'd finished what I had to say. By now, Lilia was looking at me straight in the eyes. "Spiny I…well I…I'm SO sorry! I was so stupid to believe that Kylie!" Well, I wouldn't say stupid but she should've had more sense.

She looked at me in such an adorable way, like when a puppy looks up at you with those big, soft eyes. I couldn't help but smile. "Could you ever forgive me?"

I laughed. "Of course I do. Forgive and forget, right?"

She smiled back. "Right. We're still friends?"

"Of course we are." Those words hurt. Boy did they hurt! I mean, I loved being Lilia's friend, but I wanted so badly to be much more than that. I wanted to confess to her everything that I felt for her. I wanted to ask her to be my girlfriend.

And every time I'm reminded that we're just friends, I feel the tears swelling up. But, as you might see, this wasn't a good time to confess or cry. My father had once said that having a special friend was a true treasure and that many people spent their whole lives without one. "Son," he said once, "when you find the one special friend, never do the slightest thing to jeopardize that friendship. Do everything in your power to keep it alive, even if it means that you have to pass heartache."

And that's just what I was feeling. Heartache. Piercing, stabbing heartache.

But getting back to the subject, I'd convinced Lilia of my innocence. "Now, look. Is there one more favor that you can do for me?"

Her eyes sparkled from excitement and she smiled sweetly. My heart started racing again and I got dizzy. I had to breath to stop from fainting or resist the urge to kiss her. "Well," I said, "I was wondering if you would serve as my defense witness?"


	10. Chapter 10

Pound! Pound! Pound! "All right! This court is in session!" I never knew Larry's voice could sound that…well, that authoritive. Kinda threw a scare into me.

"Order! Will the plaintiff please make its opening statement?"

Maybe you already figured this out. See, I thought of a way to prove my innocence to everyone. And, the only way I thought that this could be resolved was to have a court hearing. Larry was the judge. I couldn't be the judge because I was the defendant in this case. Guess who was the prosecuting attorney? None other than my "loyal "sister, Katherine Kyverná. And of course, her "client" was Darla Baker. I had no idea who the witnesses were, but I had a good idea that Ms. Ruins-everything-with-her-schemes was going to be present.

Why, we even had a small audience of some of the local teenagers who lived nearby. Sort of to keep things on the up-and-up.

Anyways, Larry, or the Honorable Judge Larry said, looking at some papers. I mean, really?! They'd gotten to the trouble of making legal paperwork over something as small and insignificant as this.

Anyways, it was the plaintiff's turn to speak. Kathy stood up and said, "Yes, Your Honor. There are a few principal matters involved here. First of all, the loyalty that is the basis of all friendships and interpersonal relationships. Secondly, a great deal of embarrassment and heartache to other parties involved. And thirdly," Duh! That's not a word! "And thirdly, the important principal of choosing who to relate to in the school environment."

And with that, Ms. District Attorney started babbling everything. From when she got the idea to get Darla and Roger together all the way to the events of that day. After she was done, she said, "And if so please the court I would like to call my first witness to account."

"Go ahead. Anything to hurry this up. I got a roast in the oven," said Larry. Well, that's cliché for you.

Then, Dimetroodon, who was serving as…I don't remember. What do you call those who say "All rise," and who call on the witnesses? I forget. Anyways, he said, "Ms. Kylie Anderson!"

HUH?! Kylie?! How could she be a prosecuting witness? How could she be on their side? Kathy HATED Kylie worse than sin and vice versa. Oh well.

Anyways, she went up and went through the whole process of raising the right hand and swearing to tell the truth. Ha! I knew for a fact that Kylie wouldn't tell the truth even if you paid her ten dollars for swearing with every single bad word from A to Z in every language that has ever existed.

After, she sat in the witness box and Kathy started with the questions. "What is your name?"

"Kylie Anderson."

"Occupation?"

"Captain of the local junior high school's cheerleading team."

"When did you first find out of the defendant's plot?" Plot?! For Velociraptor's sake, Kathy! I'm your brother! Your adoptive father! Your closest friend! How could you do this to me?

I only rolled my eyes and muttered, "Women…"

Well, she started rambling on and on about how I supposedly had said all those bad things and dropped Lilia as my date, etc. It was all too ridiculous and absurd, I couldn't stand to listen. Well, I heard, but I didn't listen.

Before long, it was my turn to speak. Larry said, "Mr. Kyverná, you've heard Ms. Baker's story. What is your response?"

I stood up. "Thank you, Your Honor. Well, all I can say is that, I never thought that my friends could conceive the idea that I did something like that. It's true; I was in the library at the time said with the prosecuting witness, Ms. Anderson. However, I do want to mention that she was the one who started talking bad about the people involved. And may I declare that I defended, DEFENDED my friends."

"I object, Your Honor!" Kathy yelled, slamming her hand on the desk. "May I remind the defense that anything that he says can be used against him as evidence!"

Okay, I just blew it. I lost my head. "Oh, evidence schemvidence! Kathy, why can't you just accept the facts? You got no evidence against me! And besides, you know me a lot better than a lot of people. You know I wouldn't do a thing like that!"

Pound! "QUIET!" Larry yelled. Then he looked at me, "How do you plead?"

"Innocent!"

"Are there any other witnesses that the prosecuting attorney would like to interrogate?"

"Yes, Your Honor, " said Kathy.

Dimetroodon yelled, "Ms. Lilia Woods."

WHAT?! Kathy was going to interrogate Lilia? Oh no. Lilia stood up and walked up to the witness box. After swearing to tell the truth, of course. "Now," said Kathy, "Ms. Woods. How long have you known the defendant, Mr. Kyverná?"

"Since we were seven."

What Kathy did next was very shocking. I mean, sure she's high-spirited sometimes, but she'd never done anything like this. And especially not to her best friend, Lilia. Kathy slammed her hand against the witness box, making a loud SLAP!

"I asked you how long you knew the obviously-guilty defendant! Not at what age you met him!"

"I object!" Everyone looked at me. Did I say that? "Ms. DA here still has no proof of any guilt. I ask that Council take back that comment."

Larry nodded. "Objection valid. Will the prosecuting attorney please restate the question?"

Kathy said the question again, without saying I was obviously guilty. Lilia responded, "I've known him for 5,600 years."

"Aha," said Kathy. Seriously, I was getting sick of this. What idiot had come up with this idea anyway? Oh right. Me. I take it back. No I don't. It was a stupid idea!

Anyways, Kathy said, "And what would be your description of the defendant?"

"Well," said Lilia without looking at me. "He's a very good student. He always gets A's. He's responsible, trustworthy, polite, funny, a good head of family, and good ruler. He's a truly gifted and talented person."

I could feel my cheeks blushing and my palms got sweaty and my throat dry.

"If he is all that he is, why did he hurt you like he did? Didn't you previously claim that he'd insulted you too?"

"At first. But then he talked to me and explained that he didn't know why he was being treated by Ms. Baker, you or me in the way we did. And, well, I believe him."

"Oh, you believe him?"

"Yes."

"And what proof does he have of his innocence?"

Lilia got quiet.

"I asked you a question! What proof do you have of his innocence?"

She looked up. "I don't need proof. I trust him."

Man, when she said that I felt a warm feeling in my heart and I couldn't help smiling to myself. She actually trusted me? She'd never told me that before.

"Thank you, Ms. Woods. That will be all."

Lilia left and went back to her seat. I sat up. "Your Honor?"

"Mr. Defendant?" said Larry.

"May I be allowed to say something?"

"You have to word."

"Thank you." I got up from my seat and started pacing like a defense attorney. "Your Honor, Prosecuting Attorney, Ms. Baker, and witnesses, I would like to say something directly to you. I know that I am not perfect and that I make mistakes. However, I do have to say that, I personally think I have always been a good friend, student, neighbor and King.

"And it really does pain me to see my own friend and my own sister snapping at me like this over a small misunderstanding. To be sincere, I never thought that my own family would resort to this. Instead of giving me the cold shoulder, we could have talked this out peacefully like I did with Ms. Woods and not have had to resort to this.

"I always thought we could get along regardless of what happened. And, I always thought we could be friends unconditionally. You may think that the basis of this case is the original and I might add, very bright idea which Kathy had of setting up Darla with Roger Loski. But in reality, there is something much more at stake here.

"First of all, the first law of friendship says that you have to be ready to forgive. And the second one says that you must have complete trust in your friend. Seems to me that those two laws were broken here. And although you can't be legally punished because they're not legal laws, they are just as important to follow. Seemed to me like we could always get things out into the open and talk freely between one another. Now, I have no evidence to prove my innocence or my guilt. However, it seems to me that in this case, we don't need proof to resolve anything. I suppose that a simple apology could settle things. And not to brag or be arrogant, but I do sincerely believe with my heart that I should be the one who is apologized to. I'm ready to forgive. After all, that's what true friends do."

I sighed and looked at Larry. "That's it, Your Honor. Thank you." I went back to my seat.

Larry looked down and let out a massive sigh. "Well!"

I looked over and saw…both Darla and Kathy looked mournful. Repented. They both looked very emotional and seemed to be on the edge of crying. I looked over at Roger who was sitting in the back seat. He looked at me and mouthed the words "Thank you." Then I looked at Lilia. She was smiling at me as if to say, "I'm proud of you."

"Well," said Larry. "Seems to me there is no need to go over anything. The facts are clear in this case and there is no need for questioning or anything like that."

Darla whispered something to Kathy. Kathy whispered something back. They both nodded. "Your Honor," said Kathy.

"Yes?"

"My client and I…Darla and I have decided to secede our accusation."

Kathy looked at me and smiled. "We have no ground for being here."

Larry smiled. "In that case, I declare the defendant innocent of all charges. Pound! Case closed."

And with that, everyone clapped. Well, except Kylie. She was so angry she would melted a bank vault. Looked like she was going to shoot lasers out of her eyes. She stomped out of the living room, which is where all this was happening. Once everyone left, Darla and Kathy came up to me. "Well, if it isn't Ms. District Attorney," I said.

They both laughed. "You didn't do so bad yourself," said Darla. Then she said, "You forgive us?"

I nodded. "Of course I do." I hugged them both. "Forgive and forget, right?"

"Right," they both said.

Roger came to thank me for caring about him and Darla and doing everything to be sure they were happy. Patty also came and said what a great job I'd made. Sure felt great to clear the air and make up with my friends. Even Dimetroodon was impressed. And he's very hard to impress. Very hard.

Later, when everyone had left, I walked Lilia home. We didn't say much as I led her to her front door. "Well, see you," I said to her as I started to leave.

"Wait, Spiny!"

I turned around. She walked up to me. "You know. The, um, speech you made…"

I suddenly got tense and expected something like me being a showoff or something. But instead, she looked at me in a way she never had before. "It made me see how mature you are. You are really a great guy. And, you know what I said up there about you?"

I nodded, now my face turning pink. "Well," she said. "I meant every word. I really do. You're a very special person. You're one of those people who only come along very rarely in this world and who are truly unique."

Okay, my face wasn't pink anymore. It was deep red. But I didn't look down or fidget or anything like that. "Well, thanks. I'm sure glad that's the way you think about me."

She smiled at me. I couldn't help but mirror it. "And I'm glad too. You've been the most special friend I've had." Now, we can we stop being just friends and be more? I was dying to tell her that, but I didn't.

Instead I said, "Just a friend?"

She smiled at me. "Who knows? But I have a feeling that not for much long."

My heart leaped with joy at hearing those words! Or maybe just skipped. I mean, all she said was that not for long. She didn't say she was being my girlfriend. But it was a step in that direction. A baby step most likely, but it's better than nothing.

Well, we said goodnight and later that night, as I was lying in bed, hearing Larry's weird orchestra of wheezing, snoring, mumbling and other such things, I sat there mediating about the whole thing.

You know, in this crazy life of a teenager, friendship is not just a word. It's a whole galaxy to you. Being without friendships is like trying to breath without oxygen. Like a rose without petals. Like a sea without salt.

And of course, you'll mess up a lot of times. But if your friends are truly your friends, they won't let it come between you. The keys to good and long-lasting friendships are loyalty, trustworthiness, being ready to forgive, and of course love.

You can't have some and not the others. You need all of them to succeed. And it's not the easiest thing in the world to cultivate those qualities. But when you find true friends, it's like a rare precious mineral.

On the one hand, it's delicate, can break easily or get lost. But above all, if you learn to cultivate it right and do your part, it will become a beautiful treasure that you will keep safe in the vault of your heart and your soul.

And nothing nor no one will ever take that away from you. Never.


End file.
